Nothing Like Good Helmet

Been gone too long... will be back with football blitz soon

2011-06-09T21:35:00.001-04:00

So rest easy, ese.

Almost nothing on TV on Saturdays... for now

2010-08-07T07:11:00.002-04:00

Watching The Chumscrubber. This is what I'm reduced to, but it is only 7:15 or so in the morning. There is really nothing going on in college football that we should concern ourselves with so let's review:

My Daddy, Bobby Bowden, is gone and now we get JIMBO so all of a sudden Florida State is ranked.

Joe Paterno (he's been JoePa for 10 years now, and I hate it) is fading.

The rankings are what everybody expected.

Butch Davis fields great players by consistently having agents pay his players.

Nick Saban oversigns his classes and nobody seems to mind.

Jeremiah Masoli has transferred to Ole Miss and Mandel says Houston Nutt is a scumbag.

Anyone who thinks Tommy Tubberville is actually going to make Texas Tech better is taking crazy pills.

USC is up shit creek.

Stanford is my dark horse title contender for both the Pac whatever and National title.

The top 25 is fine even though all the college football writers are acting miffed that Boise State is 5th; big deal.

Michigan still sucks. So does Indiana and Illinois.

Drugs are still bad.

Okay, that's what's been going on all summer and what we have until the season starts. But at least there's the Hall of Fame Game tomorrow and some teary ex-jocks getting inducted tonight. Hooray Canton, Ohio!

Good Academics: Hide the players?

2010-07-15T06:05:00.006-04:00

On Tuesday's (7/13) ESPN Podcast with Ivan Maisel and Beano Cook they discussed that the Big 10 conference was good now with Nebraska and that all the teams could win except for, according to Beano, Northwestern who he said could not "Hide their players" due to being such a small school with no easy classes.

This logic does make sense and it bears exploring. Could it be that Bobby Johnson's sudden retirement echoes that sentiment and the poor coach is tired of losing in conference due to strict academic standards and sometimes when he does have that recruit that fits the full profile of the school and has the solid athletic ability that recruit chooses the higher profile football program (See Bradley Robey out of Peachtree, GA who switched verbals to Ohio State).

The Vanderbilt vice chancellor David Williams offered Johnson green eggs and ham to stay but Johnson doesn't plan on coaching anymore and scorned fellow colleagues without saying any names (Paterno, more notably Urban Meyer) by saying that some coaches will coach with one foot in the grave. Is it a cheap shot on his way out due to his own health reasons or would he stick around if he could recruit better or recruit under a different, more big-time program that compromises academics for the sake of its football brand?

We can't always understand the nuances of every decision people make. Many times we don't understand our own decisions, fully, ourselves. You may even get that feeling of enlightenment after the fact and say to yourself, "yeah, that's why" as though your subconscious knew all along the real reasons. For coach Johnson it could be as easy as the reasons in the quote from the rivals article below:

Vanderbilt also has endured its share of off-field tragedy during Johnson's
tenure. Running back Kwane Doster, 21, was shot and killed in 2004 in his
hometown of Tampa. Powder Springs (Ga.) McEachern running back Rajaan Bennett, the top recruit in Vanderbilt's
incoming freshman class, was killed in a murder-suicide in his home in February.
(The above quote comes from David Fox: a national writer for Rivals.com.)

In the end who knows but the stresses can also come from being the Northwestern of the SEC. I wish I could've asked Beano if Northwestern can't hide players then does that directly imply other top academic schools can? Michigan, Stanford, Cal, Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, Duke? Most likely is my guess.

I'm curious to see who wants to step up to the challenge at that weigh-station Vanderbilt. I recently perused a Bill Parcells book and he coached there and it explicitly spoke of the coach there going to a bowl and getting out while he was hot right after and in many seasons we see this happen where the coach rides his hot season to the bigger and better program. They make money doing this but sometimes shorten their career (think John L. Smith) when they do this because once they get to the pinnacle, if they don't win, they are done (think Larry Coker or any former Ohio State Football coach). Once you get to a top place and cannot produce with all the luxuries a coach could ask for ie brand name, facilities, a conference affiliation that leads to amazing bowls you're really out of excuses. In Bobby Johnson's case, he missed his hot ticket after the bowl win 2 years ago, had 2 wins last year and didn't feel like being under the duress of the grind that is coaching FBS (division 1 A to you and me) ball. Looks like he certainly made a quality of life decision and good for him for doing so. Now, let's see how long till he gets tired of his wife or golf or both.

Song of the Day: Doin Time by Sublime

2010-07-09T07:41:00.001-04:00

I'm Back I can feel football, so I'm back, Linkage

2010-07-09T07:06:00.006-04:00

USC is not eligible for USA Today/Coaches Poll (but they'll still be in AP).

Wiz of Odds tells you Purdue is going to have some Florida speed!

The ACC has signed a 12-year television rights deal with ESPN worth approximately $1.86 billion (Dodd, CBS) Somewhere Dr. Evil is lurking with the pinky-to-mouth, not sure whether it's million or billion.

SI's Andy Staples will help you not work if you want with his Florida recruiting article. Simple link to SI Main College Page.

All over the web you can read about Tennessee players getting in a fight last night. Big deal. This is how I knew it was time to get geared up for college football. UT players always get in a fight during summer workouts. Next, Penn State players are going to do something really unseemly and we'll know that, indeed, we can smell college football.

College Football live on ESPN featuring Drew Brees talking "Glory Days". Gotta like Drew as he's the ultimate player you can point your kids to and say, "See, look at that little guy. He did it. Anything's possible if you work hard enough and study hard enough."

Discussing Mallet and Locker and how they need to treat NFL like a full-time job. Trust me. He's right. Going from a being a college player to real life isn't easy. I only ever knew how to work hard at my sport and school but not listening to regular people or working diligently in the real world once I dropped college football.

FanNation - The Republic of Sport

2009-12-22T22:53:00.000-05:00

FanNation - The Republic of Sport

Faux News

2009-12-21T23:59:00.001-05:00

Just had to note. I'm surprised it took the media and everybody else about 10 years to come up with FAUX NEWS. It's clever. But, because it took 10 years. It's really not clever anymore. They might as well call them "Nerds with Hard Ons". That might be funnier. Or something relating to the weather channel and who hot the chicks are over there. I love Stephanie Abrams in that hat at my nearest local hurricane. Something about her just makes me want to run to Publix and buy water and canned food.

Did Washington Win or something? Why is Jim Zorn on TV? It's like Napoleon Dynamite playing with his WWF doll, I'm just not sure what the heck is going on but it's interesting.

2009-12-20T22:45:00.000-05:00

From: @frotuss
Sent: Dec 20, 2009 10:38p

Let's rename all these southern directional schools after rich men like Duke n Vanderbilt: Uncle Jeds vs Jethro Bodines. #Samefightsongs

sent via UberTwitter
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/frotuss/status/6881662277

Feel free to help me come up with some more. This would be a good stoner/drinker game, I suspect.

Facebook Fun

2009-11-28T17:06:00.000-05:00

Strange Pickings

2009-11-28T07:45:00.002-05:00

This is so weird to see: Oklahoma State favored by 7.5 over Oklahoma, in Norman. The over/under is also precariously perched at 48. These guys are smarter than me though, so I'd have to pick against my natural inclination if I were forced to pick at all and pick OSU and the under- even though it is thought OSU's QB isn't even playing.

Florida State getting 25 against the Gators? I know the Gators D is good and FSU lost Ponder but it is a rivalry game... ohh Bobby- has he ever been a 25 point dog to the Gators?

Meet the New Boss

2009-11-24T20:36:00.003-05:00

Notre Dame will shortly be hiring a new football coach and if we've learned anything they need to be hiring a new man recently turned loose from the state hospital because no one else will want the job. In addition to being helpful in pulling the laundry around campus the new coach will exhibit a new, less smug demeanor. Being a humble killer who grew up confined to sleeping on the dirt floor in the shed, mostly staring at the ground the coach will have that natural instinct to be able to focus singularly on BCS bowls rather than at least nominal goals of winning a conference (Notre Dame believes it's football program doesn't need to concern itself with beating the same teams every year- other than USC, Michigan, Michigan State, Purdue, and Boston College).

"You need to think good thoughts while you still a boy!" will be his recruiting pitch when he's gone into Compton or Cincinnati or Akron or Dade County or the Everglades or the ghettos of Minnesota.

What's best is that after the media or Lane Kiffin says he's "nice, in a retard kind of way," the new coach will take a Sling Blade (Some people call it a Sling Blade, I call it a Kaiser Blade) and kill those bastards. And all that will happen is he'll get enjoined back up on the hill at the state hospital with his fill of french fried potaters.

The Dock Ellis LSD No-No (Hitter)

2009-11-17T12:58:00.000-05:00

Just watch it. I cried laughing.

Frady Quinn is back

2009-11-11T16:59:00.000-05:00

Per EMangini, Frady Quinn is back in the starting lineup without his 11million dollar P.T. bonus.

Why the Browns are newsworthy is only for the same reasons tragic accidents are.

I must drink now.

Pop Quiz Hot Shot: Who has More TDs?

2009-11-10T09:00:00.002-05:00

Who's got more TDs? The Cleveland Pumpkin Patch or the New Orleans Saints' D? According to Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain Dealer: Quinn was reminded that the Saints' defense has scored more touchdowns -- seven -- than the Browns' offense -- five.

Well, the Pumpkin Patch has decided to keep things real and mysterious at the same time. As if someone actually had to worry about it, the Pumpkin Patchers (Due to their helmets resembling said Melon and they are about as effective in capturing attention as Pumpkins) will not reveal, at least until tomorrow (Weds. Nov 11th, Veterans Day!) which dreadful quarterback they will lead out there.

What is worse? The QB that likes to get sacked (Quinn had 10 sacks in 2 1/2 games) or the one that prefers to throw the ball either in the dirt, to the other team, or whizzed entirely too hard from short distance so that it bounces off the receivers (Anderson only has had 9 sacks in more than twice as many games).

For anyone who has watched these teams play, the QBs have had time to throw and they just can't find the open receiver and/or the receivers are simply unable to create separation. Quinn was maddening as he felt it completely necessary to check down to the shortest route again and again and Anderson simply resembles "Wild Thing" before he got glasses in Major League or "Nuke" started getting some control of his penis in Bull Durham- the ball just goes whistling past everybody. You have to be on your toes if you expect to see The Pumpkin Patch offense because they're usually a quick 3-5 plays and then you see the MVP and possibly the only Cleveland Pro Bowl Selection Dave Zastadil head on the field for some booming ass punts.

Brandon Spikes? That's nothing.

2009-11-05T19:43:00.004-05:00

You think what Brandon Spikes did was bad last week? Think about this legend: Jack Lambert. My dad always told me the story of how nasty Jack Lambert was. The story goes that the Kent State Golden Flashes of 1972, a great team coached by Don James with teammates like Nick Saban and Gary Pinkel that went to the Tangerine Bowl, had to practice in a gravel parking lot due to inclement weather. At said practice were pro scouts and it was their only time seeing Lambert in person. Unfortunately, for Lambert it was just a walkthru, but he wasn't going to be derailed in his efforts to impress scouts, so he impressed them with his intensity and insanity and he decided to take down a teammate in the gravel, and he destroyed the guy. But the moral of the story is that the scouts were impressed. Jack was later taken with the 46th pick in the draft.... he was the 9th linebacker taken... and the only one of that bunch in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Paterno is pretty funny

2009-11-04T19:54:00.000-05:00

"Seems to me, coach, Tressel's trying to give you guys something to think about?"

"Seems to me? How do you begin a question that way? If you already got the answer why ask? Yeah, they did a good job with the onside kick, yeah, the kicker dribbled the ball down the middle of the field, yeah, Posey made a nice pass. We gotta play our game."

Hilarious, and, he proceeded to rip everyone who wanted to ask him speculative questions.

"You guys gotta ask those questions but we don't know who's going to have good field position."

Lerner has good weed

2009-11-04T14:33:00.004-05:00

Just as I proposed, the Browns fans would be entertained by Randy Lerner and shown out the door with a tap on the butt. It was little more than face time with the money man who has plenty to spare, God Bless him, to try and build a winner.

The fans' ire is misplaced at best. What can a guy do? He's been listening to the fans and he's wrong for that. Pittsburgh can hire anyone to coach there. Why? Because they have an underlying program in place. There's no real infrastructure to the Browns organization. Who's running the scouting department and managing the internal database on every football player known to man with ratings systems that are as organized as say.. The Patriots. I guarantee you that their front office has a space-age rating system on every football player known to man. Duh- with constant turnover and no real scouting department the Browns have no one from whom to get that information. They must absolutely rely on outsourcing for this since there is NO INFRASTRUCTURE here.

Forget the fact that the play caller has not demonstrated acumen to suiting the plays to the skills of the players- that's secondary. This team is not as bad as its record indicates and a bold coach could identify this and produce better results on the field.

Accorsi to Cleveland is Wrong:

2009-11-03T10:47:00.003-05:00

Reports of Cleveland Browns hiring Ernie Accorsi are false

According to Tony Grossi of Cleveland PD. Emphatic denial of association with the Browns by Accorsi. Sounds like a good way to keep your reputation clean.

Randy "Guitar" Lerner caving to the fans

2009-11-02T12:36:00.004-05:00

According to the Akron Beacon Journal, the Browns have a couple of fans and they don't want to see Cribbs possibly score the Browns only points of the game during the Browns/Ravens showdown on Monday Night Football following the Browns bye week this weekend. Randy Lerner is going to give them an olive branch so that they can go back down Mt. Sinai and tell the rest of the fans that: "Hey, guys, Randy's got this really, really good weed. And, oh, he's going to hire like somebody else to hire and fire coaches and GMs and stuff and we should renew our season tickets and watch Cribbs possibly score the only points of the game for the Browns against the Ravens. Cool? We talked to him."

Forget the fact that one of these jokers is a "Sports Marketing" Marketer and probably doesn't mind the attention that he's getting for this self-inflicted farce. Lerner is showing them who is more shrewd. They will smoke his weed (be it metaphorical or real) and they will tell the townsfolk that "The King has good bud and is a smoker as well!"

Someone should tell Tebow to Throw TDs...

2009-10-28T20:19:00.002-04:00

Not run for them. He's set to break Hershel Walker's SEC TD record fairly soon. Archie Griffin gets a mention in this AP article.

2009-10-27T18:34:00.000-04:00

Why do I get the feeling weakll be doing the same thing with Big Ben in ten years we're doing with Favre (French pronunciation is FA I V.

Texting Fun

2009-10-25T17:33:00.006-04:00

RANDOM BILLY JOEL LYRICS:

Christopher R. Hickman: U just sit at hoooommmee and masturbate.... But Captain Jack will get u high tonight.

MINNY V OSU

Joshua Hickman: "He's on my all dreadlock team I know that" Chris Speilman classic
Christopher R. Hickman: I understand that soon.
Christopher R. Hickman: Sir
Joshua Hickman: What a fake!
Christopher R. Hickman: Was that a fake hangup
Joshua Hickman: I thought it was...could have sworn J hall had the ball
Christopher R. Hickman: Griese is hammered
Joshua Hickman: Minni is loosing it!
Christopher R. Hickman: Keep tippin Griese
Joshua Hickman: J hall is looking sexy
Joshua Hickman: The confidence is back
Christopher R. Hickman: IMG01090.jpg ( 414.79KB )

PACKERS V BROWNS:

Joshua Hickman: The beer is very cold at Ray's
Christopher R. Hickman: And the reubens are very fine, I'm certain
Joshua Hickman: And the browns play is very not fine
Christopher R. Hickman: Bench everyone
Joshua Hickman: Where's Player when we need him?
Christopher R. Hickman: Back in the dawg pound wasted
Christopher R. Hickman: Mangina mangina
Joshua Hickman: He payed these refs well
Christopher R. Hickman: Papinga is a dadinga
Joshua Hickman: What language is that
Christopher R. Hickman: Papua new guinaer
Christopher R. Hickman: Easter island
Christopher R. Hickman: Gaines is our bp
Joshua Hickman: Next to Player yes
Christopher R. Hickman: Player is bbqing squirrel out in the muni lot
Joshua Hickman: With joel and amish
Joshua Hickman: What's players first name?
Christopher R. Hickman: Kicker
Joshua Hickman: His name is Kicker Player
Christopher R. Hickman: Kicker T.
Christopher R. Hickman: I thought it was Gary. But it couldve been Ralph or Jimmy or Bob or Chris or
Joshua Hickman: I am trying to find a pic of him?
Christopher R. Hickman: Green Bay Packers, sponsored by British Petroleum
Christopher R. Hickman: Where's Lee Suggs?
Joshua Hickman: Plenty of time
Christopher R. Hickman: Did player ever kick a field goal. His stats don't exist between now and 1999. Can't remember what year he played
Joshua Hickman: Not sure...think he was a member of the all dawg pound team
Christopher R. Hickman: Just pat's
Christopher R. Hickman: Scott Player. He was a punter from Florida State
Christopher R. Hickman: Born 12/17/1969 St Augustine, FL. 6'1" 206
Joshua Hickman: I found him...mini hulk, nice work
Christopher R. Hickman: Go Dolphins!
Christopher R. Hickman: Go Vikings
Joshua Hickman: Dude browns are back in it! Down by a TD!
Christopher R. Hickman: Minifield Anderson
Christopher R. Hickman: Lookup Christopher Wilder
Joshua Hickman: Who is that and why?
Christopher R. Hickman: Just do it sometime
Joshua Hickman: I did...he's a killer
Christopher R. Hickman: Millionaire who killed models from Boynton Beach

2009-09-24T20:59:00.001-04:00

Thursday Night Game: Pretty Amazing so few receivers come from the Southeaster Conference...

I think Fowler is looking forward to drinking the bongwater back in the DirecTv bus. Sally Jesse Palmer would only cop to prudish Gatorade and Fowler said, "Not what I had in mind", referring, of course, to rumrunners and coed 'tang that makes Erin Andrews look like a first class big nose bimbo; or not exactly.

Thanks to the internet these jokers can't get away with the fun they are entitled to and that sucks because assholes across the world not only own cell phones but they feel the need to attempt to be famous themselves by joining big brother while using photo capture and video capture and voice capture. This is lame. If a person on TV is going to party you need to look the other way.

2009-09-22T07:16:00.001-04:00

Can't believe the Browns have everybody fooled and are going to rip off the next 14 straight.

Go Hanford

2009-09-12T01:39:00.004-04:00

So be good, for goodness' sake! Bill Murray once sang that phrase aloud for no apparent reason as do I. Hanford Dixon, the once vocal and some would say great cornerback for the Cleveland Browns has a job everybody!

Yes! An NFL corner who wore a crossbar down the middle of his facemask has a job as the color man on Northern Ohio Fox Sports football games. Tonights Matchup? None other than Mogodore vs Northwestern. Nothing could've shocked me more than to flip on my 50" plasma in Boynton Beach, FL and tune in to a great division V matchup in Ohio commentated by none other than THE ORIGINATOR EXTROADINARE of the DAWG POUND, Hanford Dixon.

Hanford?

Moggie? (Mogodore)

Northwestern (Canal Fulton)?

Big School football at it's finest folks... Northwestern has 6 seniors, 20 juniors.. you get the picture... on their team... I mean this is big time football fellas.... I'm tuned in... Sadly, there are more people at this game than at Atlantic High School football games in Delray Beach where the male population of students is somewhere around 2000 students--- no joke.

It's here

2009-09-05T09:58:00.003-04:00

Whoppenin' sports fans. I got chills runnin' thru me body today. I sense that I have to run to the local big box store and grab too many beers to drink just for in case me friends stop by...

A Penn State Fan Pens an article on why my other brother Darryl with have a better season than Terrelle (McFly?)...

We're off... Chris Fowler already ripped Herbstreit with a Brittany Spears reference.... Let the SEC LoveFest Begin.... the stupid fans in the back of the group are shouting SEC... Can't knock my fellow Kent State alum Nick Saban. The man can recruit and coach up some defense.

To Be continued...

Favre Plays Us All...

2009-08-20T22:04:00.004-04:00

Tonight's Thursday Night PreSeason game was highlighted by something. It wasn't the game. It was a very Best Buy looking commercial brought to you by Sears featuring the old, grayhaired Brett Favre...

Hilarious is all I have to say. Favre stood pondering a decision on a TV as the sales dude said people just can't make a decision, referring to another customer... he said, "you know, some people just can't stand those guys.. Waffling over a decision."

Favre says: "I just can't stand those guys."

Saturday Night Live could not've done it better.

Good for you Brett Favre. I went from being annoyed by you to being a bigger fan of yours than I ever was. You have played the world (at least the world that cares about NFL).

And kudos to Sears... I hope your stock reclaims it's 13% loss from today.

FROM Stewart Mandel at SI.COM

2009-08-06T05:16:00.001-04:00

Picking sides in the Griffin vs. Pryor QB debate, plus more Mailbag

Story Highlights

Robert Griffin is electrifying, but Terrelle Pryor could soon be the nation's best

If Roy Williams couldn't win the Heisman, Taylor Mays and Eric Berry won't

Inside the Rose Bowl changes, Cal's QB struggles, major Crush news and more

PRINT EMAIL Buzz up! FACEBOOK DIGG TWITTER RSS SHARE

Baylor's wide-open offense revolves almost entirely around electrifying QB Robert Griffin.

Bob Rosato/SI

Stewart Mandel's Mailbag

Submit a question or an opinion to Stewart.

Follow Stewart Mandel on Twitter

As you're undoubtedly aware, preseason practices begin at most campuses this week. At some, like USC, you can essentially walk in off the street and watch every drill. At others, like Ohio State, you would need to scale a fence and/or fight off attack dogs just to catch a glimpse of the Buckeyes stretching.

It might actually be worth the potential injury risk to sneak into an OSU practice this month, if only to see the electrifying and rapidly advancing Terrelle Pryor running a new offense (modeled off Nevada's "pistol" attack) purportedly tailored to his strengths as a playmaker. My colleague Andy Staples attended the Buckeyes' spring game and came away extremely impressed -- which is saying something since Andy is an unabashed SEC homer.

Then again, if you're anxious to watch a dynamic young QB, you could save yourself the trouble and simply go to Baylor instead.

Would you rather have Robert Griffin or Terrelle Pryor leading your team for the next three years? Pryor gets all the hype and has more talent around him, but Griffin is faster, quicker and a MUCH better passer.
-- Nick, Frisco, Texas

This summer I've received numerous e-mails like this from those in the Lone Star State. It seems Baylor fans -- energized by the first exciting player on their team since J.J. Joe (still my all-time favorite name) -- are hell-bent on reminding the rest of us they had their own freshman sensation at quarterback last year.

They've had it up to here with all the Pyror hype, and for good reason. Griffin is the real deal, folks. See for yourself. He's possibly the fastest player in the country (he barely missed making last year's Olympic team in the 400-meter hurdles) -- and he plays quarterback. Think Pat White with an even quicker stutter-step.

Is he faster than Pryor? Yes, absolutely. Pryor is more of a Tim Tebow/stiff-arm kind of runner. I disagree with Nick, however, over his assertion Griffin is a "MUCH better passer." I don't know how we would even know that yet.

Yes, Griffin put up better numbers last season, throwing for 2,091 yards and an impressive 15-to-3 touchdown-to-interception ratio. Pryor, by comparison, threw for 1,311 yards, 12 TDs and four INTs. However, Griffin was playing in coach Art Briles' wide-open passing offense, which revolved almost entirely around him. Ohio State's coaches kept the training wheels on Pryor, who also had the luxury of handing off to star RB Beanie Wells about 20 to 25 times a game.

Even with those limitations, though, you could still see Pryor has a cannon arm. Most impressive, you could see just how lethal he is throwing on the run. (Want an example? Check out the ridiculous throw he makes at the 5:28 mark in this clip.)

So I'm sorry, Nick, but I'm taking Pryor. Not only is he a more naturally gifted passer, he's a 6-foot-6, 235-pound quarterback who can run. (Griffin is 6-3, 210.) Hey may not be highlight-reel fast, but with that size and strength it doesn't matter because defenders can't bring him down. I sincerely hope Griffin leads the long-beleaguered Bears to the promised land (a bowl game), but I truly believe Pryor will become the most dominant player in the country over the next two years.

Kige Whispers Sweet Masters Talk

2009-06-04T22:51:00.000-04:00

Woody's Buckeye Machine 09.09.1974

2009-05-25T21:01:00.004-04:00

SI's vault gives an amazing article from 1974 and the Buckeyes led the way to what is pretty bad recruiting today. Pretty Cool Stuff.

By Robert Vare

In his younger days they called him Johnny. As a kid in the tiny Ohio town of Derby, where his parents ran a small farm and raised a family of six, it was even Little Johnny. Then, as now, he was short but athletically inclined, a spunky baseball player who hoped to become a Hall of Fame shortstop like his hero, Honus Wagner. Instead he became one of the wealthiest men in America, owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates, breeder of championship horses, close friend of Coach Wayne Woodrow Hayes and chief benefactor of the Ohio State Football Machine.
Today almost every Ohioan knows who John Wilmer Galbreath is. They know he changes the face of cities with the stroke of a pen, puts up skyscrapers, factories, warehouses, housing developments and whole towns all over the world, and even now, at 77, may visit New York, California and Hong Kong within 24 hours to check on his holdings. And some are aware that next to concrete and steel, his heart belongs to the Buckeyes. It has been said that nobody, save Woody Hayes himself, has done more over the years for Ohio State football than John Galbreath.
Galbreath is an important component of the Ohio State Machine. He is the best known and one of the hardest working members of a group called the Athletic Committee, a predominantly alumni organization whose 300 active members in Ohio and across the country help recruit high school stars for the Buckeyes, provide Coach Hayes with his strongest personal support and contribute large sums of money to the football program. The committee, founded in 1946 with 100 members, used to go by the name "Frontliners" until the Big Ten said it sounded too predatory and requested a name change. But its activities haven't changed much. It is the heart of the Machine.
"You want to know what my attachment is to Ohio State football," says Galbreath. "Well, you can't live in Columbus and not be part of it. We don't have big-league baseball, football or basketball, so the Buckeyes are our team.
"I have all kinds of ties to the university. I myself graduated from Ohio University in Athens but my son got a degree from Ohio State in business administration, and my daughter went there and my sister, too. But the main thing is Woody. You just can't turn him down when he calls up to ask for a favor. Especially when you see how dedicated he is to the young people. I'm the same way. I just love talking to the young people and helping out wherever I can."
Galbreath has been helping Buckeye players for years, rewarding their gridiron efforts with jobs that ~``aren't difficult, hours that aren't demanding and salaries that aren't stingy. If a high school football star can just meet Ohio State's academic requirements, he can get a summer job working for Galbreath in one of his many many offices, on one of his many construction projects or at his 4,400-acre Darby Dan Farm.
In earlier days he could do much more. Players from poor families looked to Gal breath as a one-man welfare agency. He would tell them how to fill out their tax forms, find employment for the fathers, help pay their monthly bills. Sometimes a player would benefit more directly. He promised to lend money and give a job to Vic Janowicz if he would become a Buckeye. Later Galbreath admitted buying a convertible for Janowicz and a suit of clothes for him to wear in New York when he accepted the 1950 Heisman Trophy. NCAA crackdowns and conference rule changes forbidding players to hold jobs during the school year took away some of Galbreatrh's opportunities to aid the Buckeyes, but today there are still summer jobs to provide and blue-chip prospects and their parents to wine and dine at the farm. And rumors persist that even now, on occasion, he is not averse to throwing his arm around a high school star and promising to do all he can for him.
Galbreath is not a typical Buckeye recruiter, but he is not that unusual either. Most of the committeemen are wealthy. Some, like Galbreath, are company presidents. Many are contractors, insurance men, doctors, lawyers and judges. Others run government agencies, stores and hotels. For all of them recruiting is a full-time avocation and a labor of love.
Each one keeps his membership in the committee by flushing out and proselytizing the hot football prospects in his area. Most contribute to athletic department coffers and buy tickets to annual athletic department outings and dinners. And many enjoy doing favors for players, such as arranging lucrative summer jobs or giving stereos and clothes at Christmas or making loans that sometimes don't get repaid. Countless players have been made happy by their committeemen, and they, with their performances on the field, have made countless committeemen happy.
The recruiter's rewards are good seats at home games, status and identification with a successful football program. As long as he keeps finding and selling the prospects and Ohio State keeps winning games, it is an awful lot of fun to be a committeeman.
Some committee recruiters have helped land more quality players than they can remember. Take Frank Lafferty, who is in the motel business in Warren, Ohio. He has been recruiting in and around his hometown since the Hayes era began, and his track record is one of the best.
"We don't lose very many that we really want," says Lafferty, "and this is a great area for high school football. The idea is to keep after them and maybe help them find a summer job if they need it. We have contacts all over the area. Now, Paul Warfield [former Ohio State halfback and All-Pro receiver with the Miami Dolphins], we got him a job with the state highway department. We got Van DeCree, our starting defensive end this year, a job with Republic Steel. Randy Gradishar, the All-America linebacker...visited him about 25 times before we got him, but he didn't need a job. His father runs a supermarket.... Do we offer any other inducements? Well, we're not supposed to do it...uh...we don't do it."
Though men of vastly different resources and life-styles, Galbreath and Lafferty perform key functions for the Machine. With every one of the nearly 750 high schools in football-happy Ohio covered by a committeeman, it is almost impossible for an athlete with talent to go unnoticed. Upwards of 40,000 kids play varsity football annually in the state and they all have, thanks to the diligence of the committeemen, an opportunity to move on to Ohio State. The better the player, the better the opportunity. But in general fewer than a hundred of them will be considered blue-chippers and thus prizes to pursue.
Texas, Pennsylvania and California might argue the point, but it has been said by experts that Ohio is America's most fertile football recruiting ground. Besides filling two-thirds of Ohio State's roster and sending nearly 150 players to the other nine Big Ten schools last season, Ohio high schools supply dozens of college powerhouses across the country. Ohio boys appear regularly in the starting lineups at Notre Dame, Penn State, Alabama, Tennessee, Arizona State, Tulane, Nebraska and Oklahoma.
With at least 75 major schools participating in the annual chase for Ohio talent and competition getting fiercer, it is only natural that some committeemen are not above bending the rules. Big Ten regulations prohibit athletes from receiving financial aid beyond what is allocated for tuition and fees, room and board, and use of books. But it is tough to detect when a generous committeeman lends an athlete a color television set for a couple of years or sells him a car for five dollars.
One committeeman, a surprisingly candid wheeler-dealer who has helped recruit some of the best players in Buckeye history, is philosophical about the hanky-panky, concedes that it happens and even says: "A good committeeman can find a way to help his players." However, he asserts, "We have a much cleaner operation than most places because we don't have to cheat to win. Woody has the name and reputation. People know he's a winner and that year after year he turns out players good enough to go on to the pros and star there. And that's what most of these kids are thinking about, even if it is a little unrealistic: playing pro ball. So we don't have much trouble finding kids who like the idea of playing for Ohio State. It's like recruiting for IBM as opposed to a little 'Ma and Pa' outfit."
Above the committeemen in the Machine hierarchy are the assistant coaches. Each of the nine full-time Ohio State assistants is assigned an area. Seven cover various sections of Ohio; one is responsible for Pennsylvania, the other the East Coast, where recruiting activities have been stepped up in recent years. Each assistant coach travels through his designated territory whenever he can, gathering tips from high school coaches and maintaining close contact throughout the year with the local committeemen.
Since the assistant must know his turf, there is a good reason for who covers what. For example, defensive coordinator George Hill, who was born and raised in the Cleveland suburb of Bay Village, covers Cleveland as well as nearby Stark County with its football-famous tri-cities—Akron, Canton and Massillon; offensive end and tackle coach Ralph Staub, a native of Cincinnati who starred at the University of Cincinnati in the early '50s and later coached there and at Cincinnati high schools, covers Cincinnati; quarterback coach George Chaump, a native of Pennsylvania who coached high school football for a decade in Harris-burg, covers his home state; defensive backfield coach Dick Walker, who coached high school football in Cleveland for three years and is a Roman Catholic, covers Cleveland, concentrating on the city's talent-rich parochial schools.
The basic recruiting organization was devised a decade ago by Coach Hayes and an assistant coach named Lou McCullough. A short, tough and amiable man from Alabama, McCullough was surpassed only by Hayes himself in the ability to sell Ohio State to prospects in their own living rooms. After a decade of recruiting proficiency unparalleled in Buckeye history, McCullough quit in 1971 to become athletic director at Iowa State. But the recruiting army, now headed by assistant coach Staub, remains as strong and well disciplined as it was when McCullough left it.
"There isn't a better organization in the country," McCullough says flatly. "The key really is those committeemen. Their devotion is unbelievable. They go to the high school games, read all the newspapers, talk to the kids, to their parents, to their coaches, to their teachers—to anybody who knows the prospect. They're willing to work their tails off, and it doesn't hurt that they're usually very influential in the community.
"So when the assistant coach comes to a town, the first thing he does is meet with the committeemen in that town to get a thorough rundown on every decent prospect. And I mean it's thorough. Man, you find out everything about a kid right down to the brand of toothpaste he uses. You find out about the parents, too—what their likes and dislikes are. That gives the assistant coach a helluva head start. Recruiting is just like any other selling. You have to know what the customer likes and dislikes, wants and doesn't want."
Finding and selling are the gut work of the assistant coach and his committee recruiters. It begins in earnest in the spring of the high school prospect's junior year, when the assistants spend four weeks traversing their territories, talking to coaches and saying hello to a few players. In their briefcases are reports from committeemen on each prospect: his speed, size, moves, arm, statistics, family, leadership, church and handshake. To supplement the data, the assistants send out questionnaires to the prospects, get game films and confer with principals about classroom ability. The boy's academic work is important. The assistants know that few things make Coach Hayes angrier than losing a player to scholastic ineligibility. By the end of May the inquiries will have yielded a list of 300 to 400 preliminary candidates.
Finding and selling. In the fall of the prospect's senior year the recruiting army swings into high gear. Only then can active recruiting between coach and player take place. The coaches would like to start sooner—say, in the cradle—but NCAA rules prohibit it. By early fall the grade reports are in and so are the recommendations from coaches and opposing coaches, from teachers and employers, and. in some cases, from social workers. Meanwhile, graduate assistants crisscross the state every Friday night, viewing the candidates in action. Before long the original list is pared to between 75 and 100 top prospects. Then come the months when they will be courted, flattered, wheedled, cajoled and badgered, until they either say no or put their signatures on a letter of intent. By early April, the end of the recruiting season, about 25 will have signed, always fewer than the NCAA maximum of 30. With such quality, there is no need for quantity.
The Buckeye recruiting army does not wait until the high school season is over to start its assault. Soon after the first game the prospect is bombarded with more questionnaires, personal letters, brochures, then phone calls, house visits from committeemen and assistant coaches. Mail, calls and bodies arrive according to a well-ordered timetable.
It is Coach Hayes' firm belief that there is no such thing as overselling. "Ring the doorbells" is his recruiting slogan. By ringing the doorbells, the committeeman or assistant coach gets to know the prospect—every prospect—and is in a position to head off any potential competition that might also be camping on the front lawn. It is no accident that in Hayes' 23 years as head coach, amazingly few top stars have eluded him. Wes Fesler, Hayes' predecessor, shied away from high-pressure selling because he thought it unfair to the "kids." This has not troubled Woody. His adage, on the lips of every committeeman, is: "Paralyze their resistance with your persistence."
There are rules in the Big Ten designed to keep a prospect from stumbling over recruiters during his senior year—and to keep the recruiters from stumbling over each other. In theory, recruiters may make only two visits to a prospect's home. Since the two-visit limit does not apply to people not on the official coaching staff, the rule favors schools with strong alumni recruiting organizations. Buckeye committeemen can and generally do make all the visits the prospect or his family will allow.
Of course, there is another way to get around the rules. "Bump-ins," they are called, and they are not infrequent. A bump-in is when an assistant coach or committeeman just happens to show up at the hamburger stand where the prospect hangs out, or at the bar his father patronizes.
If all the visits, prearranged and "accidental," accomplish what they are supposed to, the prospect's appetite will be whetted and he will be invited to spend 48 hours on the Ohio State campus. For this, the only expense-paid visit allowed, an ordinary blue-chipper and his parents can expect to be entertained lavishly, considering that Columbus is not New York or San Francisco. They can look forward to a guided tour of the campus, from the weight room to the library, a conference with a friendly dean or professor, tickets to a hockey or basketball game, cocktails with the coaches and dinner at a downtown rooftop restaurant, usually with Hayes and his wife Anne. Sometime during the visit, the ordinary blue-chipper meets a few members of the varsity, and a player he might have something in common with is provided as an escort to a party where he can meet girls. If the blue-chipper is extraordinary, he can expect something more, namely a visit to John Wilmer Galbreath's Darby Dan Farm.
The farm is a vast stretch of landscape, 10 miles west of Columbus. The walls of Darby House are hung with the heads of game animals shot on East African and South American hunting parties. Where the stuffed animals leave off, the real ones begin. In Galbreath's very own game reserve roam zebras, impalas, water bucks, Thompson's and Grant's gazelles, sitatungas, lechwes and dozens of other exotic beasts. Nearby is the racetrack where his Kentucky Derby-bound thoroughbreds sometimes train. You almost forget it is really a farm until you see the 2,300 acres of corn, wheat and soybeans. For coming and going, there is a 6,000-foot airstrip, long enough to accommodate Galbreath's private jet. Surrounding it all are 35 miles of white plank fences that a lot of Ohio Slate players have painted for fun and profit. It is the kind of spread that might have dazzled Kubla Khan, not to mention a high school youngster who is just learning to shave.
Some prospects are impressed less by wealth than by sports figures they have been hearing about as long as they can remember. Jack Tatum, John Brockington. Rex Kern, Paul Warfield, Matt Snell, Jim Parker, Hopalong Cassady, John Havlicek, Jerry Lucas, Jack Nicklaus and many other premier ex-Buckeye athletes have been known to pitch in with phone calls and letters when called on by the Machine. Nicklaus once got on the phone with a prospect 40 minutes after winning the Masters.
When it comes to recruiting, the Machine can sometimes even count on Ohio's politicos. Quarterback Brian Dowling was watching television one afternoon his senior year in high school when a squadron of motorcycle police roared up to his front door. Terrified, Dowling opened the door to find his welcome mat occupied by Ohio Governor James Rhodes, who is best remembered for Kent State and his political rallying cry: "Profit is not a dirty word in Ohio." So impressed was Dowling with Rhodes' salesmanship that he enrolled at Yale. Such failures, however, are the exception.
The average head coach stays close to home during recruiting season. He may range afield for two or three exceptional prospects, but for the most part he assigns assistants to do the out-of-state work. As usual, Woody Hayes operates apart from the norm. He never seems to stop moving. From December to April he is likely to make eight trips to the New York area, six to Pennsylvania, two to Washington, D.C., three to the South and one to the Southwest, to say nothing of repeated forays throughout the Midwest. And despite the heart attack he suffered last June, no one who knows him expects the Hayes pace to slow.
Even the long-distance runner needs a finishing kick, and in the recruiting marathon few men run the gun lap like Hayes. Most coaches will sit on a prospect's living-room couch, rubbing their hands raw, looking nervous and wide-eyed, talking nonstop. Their pitch is predictable. They promise a starting spot by the youngster's sophomore year, at the latest, marvel at how he will fit in so well with their particular offense or defense, emphasize the big money such and such ex-player got when he turned pro, go on about why it is better to play on their artificial turf and in front of their fans and predict nothing but national championships and Heisman Trophies in the prospect's future. They harp on technical football, drawing diagrams of their pro-type offense or defense ad nauseam.
The Hayes approach is different. Inside the prospect's living room, with the appropriate committeeman at his side, he is an island of calm and composure. Serious and attentive, he sits up straight, hands folded on his trousers, and speaks sparingly. When he does talk, his voice is soft and low and the corners of his mouth turn up sympathetically.
The low-keyed manner is disarming and it is meant to be. He knows that because of his reputation most recruits and their parents expect him to be all hot lava and rage. So when he shows up at the door bestowing benign smiles, nodding respectfully, asking light-hearted questions and exuding charm instead of being pushy and antagonistic or, God help us, breaking up the furniture, the hosts smile back gratefully. They are relieved, if not entranced. And after he leaves they may ask: "Now how in the world could that wonderful man be the same one we've always heard about?" With that question, ever so common, the hook is in, the sale assured.
Actually, Hayes has two approaches, one for the prospect and another, much stronger, for his parents. With the player himself he is direct and businesslike, hoisting up a challenge and promising nothing. This tactic is designed to appeal to the athlete's competitive instinct. He is negotiating from strength. Everybody knows Ohio State is a very large school, spends a lot of money for football, plays on television two or three times a season, produces plenty of All-Americas and professionals and has won big for many years.
"Now, son, we think you're a hitter," he will say. "We think you can play a lot for Ohio State."
Then the prospect may nod and timidly offer up the observation that Ohio State might already have enough good football players to keep the seat of his pants in touch with the bench. Hayes' answer never varies.
"Now we think you're a 110-percenter, son. You come with us, dig in your heels and prove you're the best. You just have to ask yourself whether you're man enough to be a Buckeye."
The message hits hard. But the real work is done on mom and dad, and, with them, there is seldom a mention of football. The talk is all about education, or at least what you can get from one—about how so many of his players graduate, about Ohio State's wonderful faculty, lofty academic ranking, magnificent placement bureau. "Ah, so your son wants to be a doctor. Well, we've got the best darned medical school in the country and here's something that will interest you: three years in a row one of our football players was the No. 1 medical student.... You say your son wants to go into business. Well, we've got a great business administration program. Oh, it's a dandy program.... He wants to be a veterinarian? We've got a fine department there.... Law school? None better. And we can help him get in, too.... Ummm-hm.... Ummm-hm.... Don't believe what you hear about us being a football factory."
If the family still isn't convinced that Ohio State is a cross between Harvard and MIT, the educational line of talk will continue, with emphasis on practical advantages and end results. "Now if your son plans to live in Ohio, it just doesn't make sense to go anywhere but Ohio State. He can make the contacts he needs and we can help him. And at Ohio State, there's a good chance your boy will get his degree, because 84% of our ballplayers do and most graduate in four years." The claim is difficult to certify, since the OSU registrar refuses to release the names of football players who graduated with their class, asserting only that "most of them did." A check of the 1973 Football Register shows that only five of the 24 former Buckeyes on pro teams at the start of the 1973 season had managed to earn their degree.
Hayes will keep going until sunrise if necessary, with the loyal committeeman at his side, to help the boy and his parents make up their minds. Recruiting is the name of the game, and each prospect represents an investment—months of visits, official and unofficial, dozens of letters, postcards and telegrams, and hundreds of phone calls. The payoff comes every Saturday afternoon in the fall when the touchdowns and field goals are totaled. If the committeeman comes through, he will be patted on the back by Hayes and used again next season. If he does not, he will be ignored, his name scratched off the active membership rolls. That hurts. "Those committeemen really take pride in their work," says McCullough. "If a company has a man who doesn't produce, who isn't selling enough, they get rid of him for somebody else, don't they?"
Once or twice a year the Buckeye recruiting corps musters in Columbus. These gatherings exude the aura of a High Mass with the committeemen sounding their praise of the Hayes regime. The committee's "salesmanship school" in August, with Coach Hayes lecturing on how to recruit and passing out awards, is an example of organizational strength that should freeze the blood of opposing coaches.
"When you've got an organization like Ohio State, you're going to get the top prospects," says Duffy Daugherty, who coached at Michigan State for 19 seasons. "These sponsors take the boys under their wings and they have the resources to treat them royally. It's become the custom for them to arrange a job that will enable a boy to earn as much as $2,500 in two summer months. The small schools with piddling recruiting organizations don't stand a chance."
Besides the 300 core committeemen in Ohio, Pennsylvania and points east, the Machine has contacts from Florida to California, from Texas to Canada, and even in Europe, a good place to look for placekickers. Most of the contacts are drawn from the ranks of alumni who have scattered throughout the Western world. They don't get to Ohio Stadium much anymore and they are not official members of the Athletic Committee, but their memories are long, and it is nice to know they can still contribute to the cause by tipping off the Buckeye coaching staff whenever a "good one" comes up where they live. Then, too, there are the former assistant coaches and players, many of whom have remained loyal to Hayes. They prove it by keeping a sharp eye out for prospects and, when asked, working to get them.
The expanding terrain of the recruiting army is reflected by the Ohio State roster. Fifteen years ago, only one of the top 40 players came from outside Ohio, and he happened to be from a Kentucky town just across the river from Cincinnati. Today fully one-third of the squad is from out of state.
Along with recruiting, another Machine component that has been precision-honed is tutoring. It too has contributed to the extraordinary success of the big-time football operation at Ohio State. The purpose of the tutoring program is simple—to lift the grade-point average of every player to "C" or better so he'll be able to keep putting on the pads. It works. According to Assistant Director of Athletics James Jones, who as head of the tutoring program occupies the position known in football jargon as "the brain coach," only one Buckeye player has been lost to academic ineligibility in the last eight years.
"Sure, we have a commitment to football and winning games," says Jones, who supervises nightly study halls and a team of two dozen tutors, while keeping his speech, hair and handshake in the Marine drill sergeant style of the '50s. "We have an investment in each kid, and if he's a flunk-out, we've lost our money. O.K.? But we also have a moral commitment to each kid. O.K.? Our revenues from football are just tremendous. Now if these kids don't get an education we've cheated them, because we live off their efforts. And we're proud, mighty proud, of the fact that eventually about 85% of our players get their degrees. We really feel equally committed to the two goals—the winning and the education. O.K.?"
A different version is offered by Greg Thomas, director of Ohio State's black education center and unofficial adviser to a number of black players. "That's so much jive. They hold up these high graduation figures and, dig it, they say, "See what a fine education our boys get?' Well, damn, when they have to make the choice between eligibility and education, ain't no way they're going to pick the education. Like some of the black dudes have told me the coaches go through some changes when they ask to take courses that might be a little more demanding academically or ideologically oriented—that might mess up their head for football. They want the players taking popcorn stuff like physical education, recreation or business, which are easy and safe and where they know most of the teachers aren't going to give anybody a hard time, especially football players."
Another major component of the Machine is public relations. Ohio State has three full-time sports information officials and one unpaid publicist, Paul Hornung, who happens to be sports editor of the Columbus Dispatchand is no relation to the former Green Bay star. Hornung is Woody Hayes' idea of what a newspaperman should be, someone who is delighted to go along with Hayes' edict that local reporters be part of the team—a kind of propaganda arm of the Machine, parroting the official line and avoiding stories that could be distracting to Buckeye players or psychologically useful to the opposition.
If Hayes wants to see a certain story, he'll just tell Hornung, "Let's write this one up, Paul," and brief him on needed background. If the story is to be kept out, he will simply say "to hell with it" and go on with other work. Hornung never argues. He has been there since before the Hayes era began, a product of the Ohio State journalism department, sometimes even wearing the school colors, scarlet and gray, in the press box.
When an out-of-town columnist criticizes Hayes for tactics, temper or politics, Hornung will answer the charges by writing that the detractor is misguided and a fool. Then he will return to the bland player interviews, official pronouncements and dreary catalogs of how many Buckeye leaves the coaching staff awarded each player for his work in last Saturday's game. This is news that's fit to print, unlike blowups at practice, weaknesses in the passing game or disciplinary problems On the team. As Hayes so often says, "When I want to read about the bad things I look at the front page. When I want to read about the good things I turn to the sports page and Paul Hornung."
Other Columbus reporters are less friendly, but since they have to live with Hayes, they're rarely hostile. "Nobody ever really challenges Woody," says one. Tom Keys, sports editor of the Citizen-Journal, observes sadly, "You go to a practice. You see or hear something and the old man says, 'I don't want to see this in the newspaper' or 'I don't want to see that in the newspaper.' You make a choice: if you want to cover practice again, you don't put it in the newspaper."
Recruiting, tutoring, propaganda: each a vital component of the Machine. But the most important element of all—the fuel that keeps the parts running evenly—is money. Since most college football organizations spend more than they care to admit, finances are always a cloudy subject, and the situation at Ohio State is no exception. Only Hayes and a few administrators know precisely how much there is and how it is spent. As coach, Hayes controls the treasury and tells his athletic director what the budget will be, not vice versa as at most schools.
The spending is lavish. Even in a lean recruiting year, when most of the prospects are mediocre, Hayes may still shell out $100,000 for a recruiting campaign. Insiders say that Ohio State will spend as much as $50,000 just on its coaches' recruiting travel expenses, which is more than most Big Ten schools' entire recruiting budget. That, plus the long-distance phone call blitz and visits to the campus—another $50,000—means the money going out for recruiting easily surpasses that of almost every other school in the country.
So do the expenditures for nearly everything else, as the Ohio State athletic department's own figures attest. In 1972-73 the payroll for coaches and trainers ran to more than $350,000. Football scholarships cost another $260,000: clothing and equipment, $70,000; films for games and practice sessions, $37,000; meals and lodging for the team, $124,000: and transportation, $37,000. The spending is higher than nearly every other school's and going higher. And sitting on top of what is officially reported to be a $1.6 million football budget, Woody Hayes pronounces it all worthwhile. "Football," he says, "is the most wholesome activity on our campus."
It is also the most profitable. Unlike Texas, Tennessee, Michigan State and other major powers that have recently fallen on hard financial times, Ohio State's football program still operates solidly in the black, cranking out a surplus of as much as, and sometimes more than, $2 million a year.
The money flows in from a number of sources. Gate receipts, or "'turnstiles," as Buckeye athletic officials like to call them, are far and away the biggest revenue producers. The Buckeyes grossed $3 million from ticket sales in 1972-73 along with $250,000 in ancillary income from program sales, concessions and parking fees. From television and radio another $250,000 went into athletic department coffers, and alumni gifts earmarked for scholarships added $100,000.
"I don't like to talk about our budget because the figures get used out of context," says OSU Athletic Director J. Edward (Big Ed) Weaver, a physically imposing man of 6'4" and 230 pounds who played for the Buckeyes in the '30s. "I will say this, though. We make a small profit from basketball, but I'd say 98% of our income comes from football. We are totally self-sustaining and I'm proud of the fact that we never take a dime from the university, even though costs are rising all the time. We haven't had the apathy that you have at a lot of other schools. I think you'll find football interest here higher than anywhere else in the country—I don't care if you're talking about Lincoln, Nebraska, South Bend, Indiana or Tuscaloosa, Alabama."
What happens to the football profits? Much of it goes back into the football program to assure its lopsided superiority. Out of what is left the athletic department has enough to finance 17 other intercollegiate varsity sports, pay the $135,000-a-year debt service on its sports arena and field house and add to its $2 million investment fund. But not a penny goes to the intramural or club sports programs that are available to most of Ohio State's 46,000 students. Some of those students are upset about it.
"It's a rip-off," says David Litt, a journalism graduate who covered sports for a year on the Ohio State Lantern. "'They always have plenty of money for football. But when it comes to a student participating in athletics, that has to come out of the university's general funds and there's never enough money around. Only this year after a big lobbying campaign did the athletic department break down and finally give some money to women's varsity sports. But they still have to be forced to care about students participating in athletics. Why shouldn't they do something for the student? Business is good."
And getting better. It's no accident. The Machine's vast resources have made it nearly impossible in recent years for Big Ten opponents—except Michigan, which also has a financially successful football program—to present anything more than quivering resistance on the gridiron. Week after week Hayes makes his fans happy, keeps his team motivated and shows his muscle for the national rankings by rolling up landslide victories over adversaries who cannot afford to recruit, train or equip the way his Machine can. The undermanned, underfinanced opponents are lucky to score even one touchdown against him, just as they are lucky, in certain cases, to field a team at all, since they don't fill their stadiums, don't play on TV and don't get much in the way of donations from grateful alumni. It's a classic rich'-getting-richer cycle.
"We smaller schools in the Big Ten just don't have the wherewithal and, as a result, there's no balance anymore," says Francis Graham, athletic department business manager at the University of Iowa. " Ohio State has the highest athletic budget in the country—$4.3 million. Michigan has a $4 million budget. Our budget is $1.5 million for all sports and we're just breaking even. We really can't afford to bring kids all the way across the country to visit our campus. Either we drastically cut back on scholarships and de-emphasize winning or all you'll have left is the Ohio States. And I personally don't think college football should boil down to the survival of the fittest."
Graham, like many athletic officials in similar straits, believes the only answer may lie in sweeping NCAA reforms: imposing spending ceilings; limiting or even eliminating recruiting; reducing the size of football squads; returning perhaps to one-platoon football.
With calls for change getting louder, the widely respected Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching, along with the Ford Foundation; has decided to support a proposed study of college athletics. The result is expected to be even more scathing than the first Carnegie Report—the most thorough and scholarly on the subject to date—which found many abuses in collegiate sports, especially football, stemming from what it called "the growth of professionalism" and "'excessive organizational discipline." The Carnegie Report was published in 1929.
Woody Hayes, in countless speeches, lambastes the criticism, any and all, past and present, as "a plot to undermine football" and concedes nothing. "I say again, and I am proud of it, football is the most wholesome activity we have on this campus...the only place a youngster learns teamwork, mental discipline and the value of hard work...where the men who teach the youngsters aren't openly encouraging permissiveness and protest.... And I can't think of an activity that's more valuable. The whole student body benefits from what we do, not just the athletic department.... University fund raisers tell me every time we win and fill the stadium and unify the students and alumni, it makes raising money much easier.... We provide wonderful publicity for the university. I don't think anybody will deny that."
Hayes knows that most people around him say he is right. He does not have to find excuses for any part of the powerful conglomerate of money, high-pressure recruiting, tutoring and special treatment out of which emerge his winning football teams. The distant rumblings of discontent with big-time, big-business college football are beginning to be felt across the country by students, faculty, administrators, alumni, players and even some coaches. But not by Woody Hayes.
"I don't think many people around here are against a big-time program," he has said. "We have more than 85,000 seats in our stadium and every one of them is filled every game...people from all over the state, no matter what their politics or religion or color...they love and rally round the Buckeyes."
It was almost 45 years after the Carnegie Report was issued that Hayes got up to speak before a downtown Columbus Rotary Club meeting that began with prayers for Richard Nixon and an undefeated season. Amid loud applause, grim but full of confidence, Woody said: "Somebody asked me the other day what I thought these so-called critics wanted and I said, I know what they want. They want to destroy college football." Well, dammit all, they're not going to destroy a very wonderful American institution."

Deadspin is Dying

2009-05-24T10:26:00.000-04:00

Just click the link to the right. You will see that there are about two good story posters and random "interns" on the weekend. It's gotten too corporaty. If it weren't for the most entertaining commentors you've ever read in your life the site would be very little other than an Erin Andrews update service.

Lane K not allowed at Pahokee

2009-05-12T21:19:00.001-04:00

Palm Beach Post reports that Kiffer can't visit their talent rich program due to insults against them.

Sick n Silly

2009-05-10T17:51:00.000-04:00

Volunteers stop Volunteering?

2009-05-10T06:51:00.001-04:00

Kiffin doesn't mind showing dudes the door to make room for hot prospects.

Paterno will not coach next year

2009-05-08T07:11:00.003-04:00

I'm just saying it. I have no proof other than I am prescient from time to time and just simply know the future. Paterno (I refuse to call him Joepa anymore, because I just don't like it) will go to work in the media part time. He is a real coach however. At the other two big 10 schools if you can't win with them you pretty much don't get to have a job anymore; look at Earle Bruce, John Cooper, Lloyd Carr, Gary Moeller. But Paterno is different. He can coach and he made PSU into the monster that they are today. But--- after him-- every coach will be quickly placed on the hot seat. The only way the next coach gets a reprieve is if Paterno himself is still around to back his protege who is likely to be someone from his defensive staff.

Thanks Mr. The King

2009-05-07T22:11:00.002-04:00

I'd like to thank LeBron James- fellow Akron human being- for completely demolishing The Hawks from Atlanta so I could cruise various channels for entertainment. Shows I never watch like 30 Rock and The Office and of course I found The Waterboy. Last night I stayed up really late and watched Sandler's Zohan flick. I, for a while, thought it was particularly amusing that he was banging old women. I believe it was Sandler's version of Austin Powers. It was pretty good but nothing is quite as magical as The Waterboy.... "There's a lot of pain and shame in those eyes" says Chris Fowler to Lee Corso. Then he runs out on the field a few moments later with his single bar facemask and and his most ridiculous uni...

Fear and Loathing in the SEC

2009-05-07T01:39:00.004-04:00

Sir Urban the urbain coach of the 2 time recently winning SEC god Gators has stuck his foot recently where Lane Kiffin so often loves to stick it, in his mouth as he publicly scolded another team, in this case one of the two teams called "Tigers" from the same conference- Auburn- for joyriding recruits around in limos. This allegation proved out to be false and now Urban the not so much longer "Urbain" will have to retract his comments. Urban offers girlfriends scholarships in gymnastics to just get a football player to come cross-country needs to back off the holier than thou pills and go have Tebow circumcise him or something.

As is often said in SEC country, "If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin". And who cares. Kids that want to be bought off by the highest bidder will find ways to make that happen and the schools that look the other way will eventually get their comeuppance.

This is so ridiculous

2009-02-27T05:38:00.001-05:00

You won't believe this impressive Ninja training.

Great Linkage

2009-01-14T06:43:00.003-05:00

Amazing how once college football season is over there are better stories:

College Football News's All American Teams: The most respected resource of College football info.

SI's Tim Leyden has a fascinating article on how the NFL really wants Tebow.

Phil Steele's All American team. We've got the Heisman winner at 3rd team. Probably a little more appropo after the Bowl Game.

National Championship Halftime Thoughts

2009-01-08T21:56:00.003-05:00

I just find those Alzheimer's pins confusing. They look like a 96 on their lapels and when I googled "alzheimers pins" my results were mixed. It seems that they let people with Alzheimer's disease keep creating new pins because the new one is not like the old one or the other old one or the other old one or the purple one.

It doesn't matter really.

Does a 31 yard field goal by Iowa to clinch the Penn St upset really qualify as the special teams play of the year?

Give me less band and more cheerleaders and majorettes when it comes to the band. Ixnay the andnerdsbay in favor of the itstbay and ssabay. Yes, I am piggish that is why my latin is piggish.

Random thought:

I love the "so and so" couldn't find their own ass with 2 hands and a roadmap quote. Not only is that quote insulting to the IQ level, it insinuates that they have a big fat ass or body and need a roadmap.

Commercial thought:

The geico money with eyes commercial that plays "somebody's watching me" by Rockwell is not nearly as good as the cavemen, but it probably costs less that the guy who plays the lizard voice or the cavemen comedians.

Marching Band of Oklahoma??? Where are the cheerleaders and why are we playing pinball wizard? Were we expecting pinball scores in this game? I'm seeing 7-7 on the scoreboard thus far... ahh. one second of hot chicks in silver and they look cold because it is here in FL.

Erin Andrews gettin some love

2009-01-04T08:16:00.001-05:00

This is actually creepy:

Former Number 1 Alabama- going down?

2009-01-02T23:11:00.002-05:00

Alabama has mustered 17 points at the 11 minute mark in the 4th quarter vs Utah and 7 of those are on special teams. hmmmm

The Wiz and DeepSouth have been highlighting SEC Speed

2008-12-21T18:27:00.004-05:00

Morgan Trent Getting Some Percy

Spongebong Hemppants & Hashbrick

2008-11-26T17:00:00.001-05:00

Spongebong Hemppants - The most amazing bloopers are here

40 Years Later, This is What is Needed..

2008-11-25T21:27:00.005-05:00

I hate to be all freedom rock and shit and stand up and have a dream... A dream that is clear and not all Boca-Y... La La La. It appears that our American way of life is being castigated by some Russian dufas. He seems to be saying that we're about to split into... a lot of different countries.

Number one: we're not sophisticated enough to pull off such a feet.

B: We're not smart enough.

3. We're too internationally oriented to even think about... what? Hilarious. I love this guy. I don't know how he made Drudge's top headlines but it's brilliant and he should get a million bucks for just that. Is he dating Carrie Underwood?

Take off Eh?

2008-11-19T23:06:00.002-05:00

Hey, if you had followed the 12 point program we wouldn't've had to jump start you like this.

The one below is definitely my two brothers, Josh and Matthew... And Cooley, actually.

Sci Fi looking for Beer

2008-11-16T13:30:00.001-05:00

How to get free beer.

2008-11-16T08:51:00.001-05:00

Soccer killing the Big 10?

2008-11-15T06:14:00.002-05:00

Another factor nobody is mentioning is the growing popularity of that "running around sport"- SOCCER!

The U could be... special

2008-11-13T22:20:00.002-05:00

If they had an offense that could not try and run the QB all the time.

Lots of dropped passes in this game.

Option Attack

2008-11-01T09:30:00.001-04:00

The Kicking Game

2008-11-01T09:16:00.001-04:00

Birthday Free Stylin

2008-11-01T09:11:00.000-04:00

Do Not Fear

2008-10-31T22:38:00.000-04:00

Captain Compete is Here

The Aggie Report is Hilarious

2008-10-30T21:57:00.001-04:00

Even MSU is making fun of Michigan now

2008-10-29T22:52:00.001-04:00

Okay, MSU, do it again next year and you can break out the banjo.

Saturday, Bloody Saturday

2008-10-29T21:56:00.003-04:00

How Long?

How long must we sing this song?

ESPN has potted their trash on the front lawn again and it reads like a meth-head's tattoo splattered across their forearm with little more than a juiced up ink pen. It's a typical exercise in a lack of effort deigning sensibility in place of data. I get it. But it's just stupid. Michigan is bad but they aren't one of the 10 worst teams in all of 1A.

I guess they have to feed the starving public something in place of news when there's no real dirt going on.

How many times can you spin Joe Paterno stories? I for one am in favor of no longer calling him JoePa- like Grandpa. I get it. It was cute the first 9079989i times.

Tebow. Enough already. Beat the dead horse on the week's story just like every other purported news reporting entity and if they can't do that they make up something salacious- or half make it up.

I'm bitching a bit, but can't we draw more insightful inferences out of the college football game? I've found that I have more to say in the offseason than actually during the season because it's all right in front of us during the season. Out of season, there's much more to speculate on therefore making debate that much more heated. During the season all we can do is drink, bitch, smile and get drunk.

Did I say I love the ladies?

Well, that was a complete interjection that means absolutely nothing relevant.

Let's run through Espen's purported bottom ten with something witty of our own, shall we?

1. N. Tejas? Well, I haven't watched one of their games, but they're green and therefore probably smoke a lot of cannabis- aka frotuss.

2. Washington? Probably not that bad if they played a week-ass schedule like Texas Tech; they'd probably be undefeated at this point or maybe sitting w/ one loss and the same coach who can't win big games or recruit evenly.

3. Washington State? Well, this is probably the worst team. Poor Wazzu. They shouldn't be down for too long. I'd love to be the coach at a program like Wazzu. Just go cross country cleaning up on b-plan recruits.

4. SMU? Bring back the Pony Express- next.

5. Michigan? Richrod? Where's your adaptability? Defense? Where's your godlike S&C coach?

6. San Diego State? How can they really be bad? Just mark a circle within 75 mile radius of campus and save gas recruiting and you'll surely make a Miami-like monster. Trust me.

7. Syracuse? This is really sad. Why can't NY produce football talent? Or the NE in general? The people from TX, OH, PA, FL, CA, GA, LA should send missionaries to that part of the country and teach them how to eat corn and beef.

8. Utah State? Who are they? Didn't that lineman from the Broncos play for them? Send them back to DII.

9. Miami University? The Redhawks (Redskins!!!!!!) Cradle of coaches? Must need a new coach.

10. Wyoming? I thought they were good? Get Dick Cheney to donate 100million to your school and join the Big12 and kick Missouri to the Big10.

Cheers

Take a trip down memory lane:

2008-10-28T23:16:00.001-04:00

How Cool Is this List?

The Preliminary Pro Football Hall of Fame List....

Shannon Sharpe retired as the NFL's all-time leader in receiving yards for a tight end.
CANTON, Ohio -- Defensive end Bruce Smith, defensive back Rod Woodson and tight end Shannon Sharpe are first-year eligible candidates among the list of 133 players, coaches and contributors who make up the preliminary list of modern-era nominees for election to the Pro Football Hall of Fame's Class of 2009.
Photos ... Road to immortality » 2008 enshrinement » More photos
From this preliminary list of modern-era nominees, Hall of Fame selectors will choose 25 candidates who will advance as semifinalist nominees. The list of 25 modern-era semifinalists will be announced later next month.
The 25 modern-era semifinalists list will be reduced by a mail ballot to 15 modern-era finalists.
The final list of nominees that will be considered for election will consist of the 15 modern-era finalists and the two previously announced senior nominees, Bob Hayes and Claude Humphrey. Hayes and Humphrey were selected this past August by the Hall of Fame's Senior Selection Committee.
Hayes, a three-time All-NFL pick, amassed 371 career receptions for 7,414 yards and 71 touchdowns during his 11-season career with the Dallas Cowboys (1965-1974) and the San Francisco 49ers (1975). He also returned 104 punts for 1,158 yards and three touchdowns and had 23 kickoff returns for 581 yards.
Humphrey, a defensive end, was selected third overall in the 1968 draft by the Atlanta Falcons. The NFL's Defensive Rookie of the Year he earned first team All-Pro honors in 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974 and 1977 and was named to six Pro Bowls during his career with the Falcons (1968-1978) and Philadelphia Eagles (1979-1981).
The Class of 2009 will be selected from the list of 17 finalists (15 modern-era and two senior nominees). The actual voting will be conducted at the Hall of Fame Selection Committee's annual meeting, which will be held on Saturday, January 31, 2009, in Tampa, Florida the day before Super Bowl XLIII. The election results will be announced immediately after the meeting at a press conference in the media headquarters. While there is no set number for any class of enshrinees, the ground rules provide that between four and seven new members will be selected.

Rick Stewart / Getty Images
Bruce Smith is the NFL's all-time leader with 200 sacks.» Photos: 1990s All-Decade Team

George Rose / Getty Images
Roger Craig was the first running back to record 1,000 yards rushing and 1,000 yards receiving in the same season.» Photos: 1980s All-Decade Team

Jim Gund / Getty Images
Sam Mills was a five-time Pro Bowler at linebacker.» Photos: All-time NFL greats

John Sandhaus / NFL
Clay Matthews played 19 seasons in the NFL at linebacker.» Photos: All-time NFL greats

Al Messerschmidt / NFL
Don Coryell's Chargers led the NFL in passing yards in six consecutive seasons, an NFL record.» Photos: All-time NFL greats
The preliminary list includes 110 players, seven coaches and 16 contributors, including former NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and longtime team owners Bud Adams, Jerry Jones, Art Modell and Ralph Wilson.
To be considered for Hall of Fame election, a nominated player or coach must have been retired at least five years. A contributor, who is a nominee who has made outstanding career contributions to pro football in capacities other than playing or coaching, may still be active in his pro football career.
Preliminary list of nominees for class of 2009
First-year eligible nominees:
RUNNING BACKS -- Larry Centers, Brian Mitchell (also KR/PR).
TIGHT ENDS -- Shannon Sharpe, Frank Wycheck.
OFFENSIVE TACKLE -- Lincoln Kennedy.
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN -- John Randle (DE/DT), Bruce Smith (DE), Dana Stubblefield (DT).
LINEBACKER -- Jessie Armstead.
DEFENSIVE BACKS -- Darren Woodson (S), Rod Woodson (CB/S).
Additional nominees:
QUARTERBACKS -- Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason, Jim Plunkett, Phil Simms, Ken Stabler, Joe Theismann, Doug Williams.
RUNNING BACKS -- Ottis Anderson, Roger Craig, Terrell Davis, Greg Pruitt (also KR/PR), Herschel Walker, Ricky Watters.
WIDE RECEIVERS -- Cliff Branch, Harold Carmichael, *Cris Carter, Wes Chandler, Gary Clark, Isaac Curtis, Henry Ellard, Irving Fryar, Roy Green, Harold Jackson, Herman Moore, Stanley Morgan, *Andre Reed, Sterling Sharpe.
TIGHT ENDS -- Mark Bavaro, Todd Christensen, Ben Coates, Russ Francis, Brent Jones, Steve Jordan.
OFFENSIVE LINEMEN -- Tony Boselli (T), Lomas Brown (T), Jim Covert (T), Randy Cross (G/C), Dave Dalby (C), Dermontti Dawson (C), Ray Donaldson (C), *Russ Grimm (G), Jay Hilgenberg (C), Kent Hill (G/T), Chris Hinton (G/T), Kent Hull (C), Joe Jacoby (T), Mike Kenn (T), *Bob Kuechenberg (G), Jim Lachey (T), Henry Lawrence (G/T), Mark May (G/T/C), *Randall McDaniel (G), Max Montoya (G), Marvin Powell (T), Steve Wisniewski (G).
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN -- Ray Childress (DT/DE), *Richard Dent (DE), Chris Doleman (DE/LB), Carl "Big Daddy" Hairston (DE/DT), Charles Haley (DE/LB), Ed "Too Tall" Jones (DE), Cortez Kennedy (DT), Joe Klecko (DE/DT/NT), Steve McMichael (DT/NT), Leslie O'Neal (DE), Fred Smerlas (NT), Art Still (DE).
LINEBACKERS -- Cornelius Bennett, Robert Brazile, Kevin Greene (LB/DE), Ken Harvey, Rickey Jackson, Tom Jackson, Clay Matthews, Karl Mecklenburg, Sam Mills, Hardy Nickerson, Chris Spielman, Pat Swilling, Darryl Talley, *Derrick Thomas.
DEFENSIVE BACKS -- Eric Allen (CB), Steve Atwater (S), Joey Browner (S), LeRoy Butler (S), Deron Cherry (S), Raymond Clayborn (CB), Kenny Easley (S), Lester Hayes (CB), Albert Lewis (CB), Ken Riley (CB), Eugene Robinson (S), Donnie Shell (S), Louis Wright (CB).
PUNTERS/KICKERS -- Rich Camarillo (P), *Ray Guy (P), Nick Lowery (K), Reggie Roby (P).
SPECIAL TEAMS/WIDE RECEIVER -- Steve Tasker.
COACHES -- Don Coryell, Tom Flores, Jimmy Johnson, Chuck Knox, Buddy Parker, Dan Reeves, Clark Shaughnessy.
CONTRIBUTORS -- Bud Adams, Gil Brandt, C.O. Brocato, Leo Carlin, Ed DeBartolo, Jr., Ben Dreith, Bob Harlan, Jerry Jones, Art Modell, Art Rooney, Jr., Ed Sabol, Steve Sabol, *Paul Tagliabue, Ralph Wilson, Jr., Ron Wolf, George Young.
*On 2008 17 finalists list

NBA = Home Team Doesn't Foul

2008-10-28T21:55:00.002-04:00

Watching Cavs vs Celtics. Have seen LeBron get fouled 3 times within 5 minutes and it not be called. Meanwhile Garnett gets mystery fouled and goes to the line. It's not Celtic love. I'm certain that it's Home Team Love.

Oklahoma State denies allegations

2008-10-27T21:30:00.003-04:00

Oklahoma State has come forth and stated that T Boone Pickens has plenty of other money and he'll be dead sooner or later so there's nothing to worry about. Continue with the construction.

Move along nothing to see here...

A spin on Wass'up; political

2008-10-26T17:04:00.000-04:00

ridiculousness

2008-10-25T00:20:00.001-04:00

Oklahoma State is SCREWED?!?!?!?!?!?

2008-10-23T21:59:00.004-04:00

It appears that Mr. Pickens decided that a long only oil strategy was a good idea with his 165million dollar donation to Oklahoma State's athletic program which he didn't actually completely give...

After ballooning to 300million the school rushed to finance construction and has now been told that due to margin calls the 300million is now worth---- zero.

Talk about delevereging.

Gameday Signs: My suggestions

2008-10-21T23:24:00.001-04:00

1. Bonnie Bernstein's pink panties approve this message.

2. No Horseshoe for Old Men

3. Borat says Penn State #3, NOT

4. Hey RichRod: Spread This

5. Hey RichRod: Where's the D?

6. You People Are Blocking the Library

7. Ohio State (above a hand drawn in the form of THE SHOCKER) Shocks Penn State

8. JoePa gets older, the college girls stay the same age

9. Now for this touching Tebow Moment...

10. Will Penn St show up? There's no real grass on the field.

11. Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

12. JoePa assaulted a female flight attendant.

13. Keep PSU off the streets.

14. JoePa has uncontrollable gas and must sit in a room by himself.

15. Touchdown Irish... just kidding.

16. (Picture of JoePa) The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

17. JoePa: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year. Tress: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.

18. Remember Corso - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

You've been BW3'd

2008-10-19T04:42:00.001-04:00

The umpire is taught to step up almost through the action but this ump decides to show is yellow colors don't run.

Saturday Randomness

2008-10-18T17:07:00.004-04:00

OSU is blowing up Michigan St. It's weird. It's not even like MSU is playing bad at all. Tressel is just actually calling plays that will get first downs. He was hilarious at his halftime interview with the very nice Stacey Dales.

Currently watching this Michigan Penn State game and the Dracula music PSU plays on occasion (listening in mega stereo) actually just scared me. McGuffie just fumbled a k/o return and UM luckily recovered.

Georgia struggled quite a bit today w/ Vandy. Moreno looked impressive. Don't know why they just don't run him every play practically.

NWestern and Iowa both looked pretty good today.

Bowl Week!

2008-10-08T06:50:00.005-04:00

I bet you didn't really realize that this week we have games between contenders here and there. I like to refer to it as my bowl week when crap like this happens. I like to watch a battle of titans root for the underdog so everything can be as screwed up as possible.

In the "Every Players is From Texas on Both Teams Bowl" is "The Red River Rivalry" of Texas vs Oklahoma. Stoops seems to have the upper hand this year. His team has looked surgically smart for the whole season but have played a bunch of sloppy joes up until this point.

Mack Brown is as relaxed as ever. Losing doesn't seem to bother ol' Mack nearly as much. He's a great guy and has plenty of Texas's finest playing for him.

The Bobby Boucher Bourbon Bowl features the Bayou Boys of LSU versus the Florida Swamp Boys. Ricky-Jean Francois vs Timmy Tebow and Percy Harvin. Somewhere there's a coach or two on the sidelines that doesn't make any sense. I have a feeling Urban Meyer will transmit Henry Winkler emotions as he feels that LSU has stolen all of his good plays.

Hey Humble Readers!

2008-10-01T23:42:00.003-04:00

Just when you think it's a great/awful idea... think about peak-bullshit-theory...

Above is the chart for Corn. You can see the price deterorating following the standard summer rains. Well. Just think of it as a chart for Alabama Football following an unexpected huge upset. They will choke now that the spotlight is hot on their backs. Expect the similiar misfortune from Ch-oklahoma. Sorry, Sooner Fans but the Big12 will deliver a blow.

The good news is for the economy. We're experiencing a bull market in bad news which will inevitebly be followed by mountains of unexpected good news as a result of falling energy prices and interest rates. You can't fight the fed, good bargains, and outrageous gains in human productivity that are unmatched in the history of mankind. Sorry nasty people. The sale is on and those of us with jobs will begin making more money than ever. Like 2 weeks ago.

Holy Erin Andrews's Areola!!

2008-09-26T00:28:00.002-04:00

Erin loves talking about domination.... nobody dominated here tonight but Jacquizz Rodgers the RB for Oregon St had the best line just now.... "How did you do it EA said"...

"I was just hidin behind my line all night... I'm a small dude... They couldn't find me!"

Classic.

It's a game I'll remember my whole life... and my own quote about Erin's Areola.

Out.

Holy Shitballz

2008-09-25T22:46:00.002-04:00

Penn State and Stanford beat Oregon State... and Oregon State is whupping up on USC 21 to No Reason at the half.

This is this year's game of the century but are we really surprised? Dr. Lou could've predicted it. If USC doesn't have an erection to put their Trojan Wrap around then they don't have a clue as to what to do. The game goes and goes and the offense hasn't been on the field for more than 12 minutes out of 30. No rhythm.

I love that word rhythm... no vowels.

Ringer: The Featured Back

2008-09-20T06:58:00.002-04:00

Looks like Javon Ringer will get some Heisman pub from ESPN today. There really hasn't been a breakout back other than Javon. He's faced some pretty weak run defense so far this year but that's not to say he isn't the real deal.

Coming out of Dayton Chaminade in high school he was overlooked by his favorite college, Ohio State, due to grade requirements.

Excuse me and the financial crisis

2008-09-17T22:01:00.004-04:00

I have been detained by obligations and apologize for my absense but I honestly see less reason for coverage during the season than out of it. During the season you're swamped with information. Out of seaon all you hear about are arrests.

Tonight we are given a nice morsel of football with a Big East Power, once again, versus another Big 12 also ran in Louisville/Kansas State. Kansas State looks to have the horses.

Lou Holtz, Mark May, Reece Davis and Mark May (seems redundant doesn't it) are calling the game. Louisville just missed a potentially game changing pat putting them up by 13 rather than 14. Holtz just went off on a player not getting up and going off the field after getting a little injured. I have to agree with my fellow KSU grad.

Louisville seems to be the place for the Ryder Cup championship, Valhalla Country Club to be exact. I must say, from the pictures, the place is right up there with Augusta in terms of beauty from all that.

It's 10:05 and my 3 year old has decided to eat some food for dinner... Raisin Bran.. as I hear him watching Spongebob and echoing the latter remnants of the ABC song...

Ahh... dow down 449 points... thank you very much Tanqueray....

Too much anticipation

2008-09-11T07:03:00.004-04:00

Every website has at least two items referencing OSU vs USC. Sportsline even has a countdown clock. College football has become so much about the national title game that everyone forgets that these are kids and that the pageantry of college football and rivalry and tradition is what it's really all about. As a kid growing up I didn't even think about the national title- not at all. It was the furthest thing from my mind. Maybe it was because Earle Bruce and the boys always managed to lose 3 or 4 games but all the guys who played there were gods nonetheless.

Now, if you don't win the the whole enchalada, you're nothing- until you land in the NFL.

I hate Spencer Tillman... but here we go... I was hoping to see Dennis Dodd do his own preview because his are kind of like watching that hillbilly from Tennessee do his own sports updates.

Watch CBS Videos Online

Monday Night Football: We'll be watching tap soon

2008-09-08T21:36:00.003-04:00

Soon we'll be watching tap football and we'll have to clap for our opponents when they score or make a nice play because, well, because it's just an awful darn nice thing to do!

No celebration?

No in your face? What in the wild world of sports, as Slim Pickens said, is the sporting world coming to? We're red meat eating Americans, right? Jake Locker can't throw a ball in the air and Tom Brady is not allowed to be injured and soon Peyton Manning will get done for the season too- but not if the refs have their way. Last night a Bears LB got a fifteen yarder for a love tap on Peyton's head. It didn't matter as karma kicked in and the Bears one for having an awesome D and an O that could occasionally make plays... (did I say Defense Wins Championships? I think I did (see previous post)

Anyways, get ready for a good game after this Minny/vs/Packattack game with an effective O vs an effective D once again. If you can have one or the other, pick the D.

Anyways again-the NFL is going to do it's best to protect marquee QBs this year. There are fewer and fewer left. Tony Romo almost got knocked out against the Browns and Peyton is being held together by safety pins and Farveee is just Farvee and he doesn't get hurt- or he just takes pills so he can play the next game (don't worry prescription drugs will only kill your liver while marijuana will only cure your gloucoma).

Ch-Ch-Changes

2008-09-07T21:48:00.005-04:00

Football is still fresh and creating this year's identity. I won't go over college right now because if you're reading this you already know what happened and that's what those links up on the right are for. I need a hug after this weekend's football but what is becoming an apparent theme this weekend as I sit here typing along they flash to Peyton Manning riding the exercise bike on the sidelines and the talk of Tom Brady's wounded knee.

Those guys are my age and while I'm not old, I've been working at my profession for nearly ten years and so have they and while I've learned quite a few tricks I will continue to get more experience but those guys, I don't think they have too much left in the tank. Brett Favre looked good today but he's only for or so years older than those two so it's not like he's 100 years old or something but football takes it's toll. You can make your muscles stronger by lifting weights and get faster through speed training and you get smarter through film and other mental gymnastics but the bones and the tendons and the joints cannot simply be trained to get stronger. They can only withstand so much pulling apart and getting put back together and as a quarterback in football the average fan has no idea just how exposed these players are. The sport is very cruel to that position. They get to stay stationary somewhat while many are just trying to hurt them.

And Another Thing About Quarterback....

The average fan sees all of football as though they are the quarterback somehow and thus all of football is seen through and "offensive eye-piece." For instance if team "A" beats team "B" by 20 but allowed 30 points, it just seems more impressive than team "C" who beats team "D" by one touchdown less but only gave up 1 touchdown as the defense was suffocating. It is often said that defense wins championships. It's like baseball. Pitching wins gams and th big hitting teams always end up losing the big one. So here we are all over again. Offense totally gets people over excited while stifling defense just bores people. The teams with the flashy offenses always get people excited but those offenses can have a bad game or go up against a strong defense and not seem quite as good.

Not looking good for Ol' Ball Coach

2008-09-04T23:15:00.001-04:00

Ol' Ball coach is about to go down two years in a row to Vandy. Vandy runs a spread option and pops in and out of traditional formations and just went up by two TDs with 9:28 left over the Gamecocks. Don't let the name fool you. Vanderbilt has been building for a long time and they're finally figuring it out: Smart guys want a good education and good football, too. ND has been doing it for a long time. Other big programs have been doing it lately too. By bringing in smart kids to top programs you enhance your draft status with NFL teams and it feeds itself. The NFL has a strong interest in guys with intelligence and kids who want to go pro have a strong interest in programs that get their kids drafted. ND and USC have been onto this for a while. The Big10 gets a lot of kids drafted as well due to high academic standards. UFlorida and UMiami have good standards as well. There's a trend developing that's running deeper today than ever and a program like Vandy has all the pieces to step out in front of something like this and do something quite unexpected.

More ACC piling on

2008-09-02T18:55:00.000-04:00

From Southerncollegesports.com they have more.

CFN reviews...

2008-09-01T08:51:00.001-04:00

The Lament of Pittsburgh... Bowling Green rolls in and drops the bomb on a bunch of players who were all "rated" significantly higher than them.

Wake n Bake

2008-08-30T08:19:00.001-04:00

Here we are. It's the 30th Day of the 8th Month in the 2008th year since Ano Domino. The Olympics are foolishly over. Baseball is still being played and some people are still paying attention but college football is on us and if you aren't drinking are smoking you should be working or being somehow responsible in some other way like parenting.

My wife just slid a torn out article at me from the Palm Beach Post about how the woman was convicted for microwaving her baby. She should be microwaved to death or just shot.

It's not fair, they have those Jubblies

2008-08-28T07:00:00.000-04:00

Racist Odds

2008-08-28T06:28:00.000-04:00

Kissing Suzy Kolber's Blog post regarding odds against getting arrested is hilarious.... excerpted:

Steve Smith, Panthers: 5/1
As far as I know, Steve Smith has never been convicted of any sort of crime (and no, punching a teammate in practice is not going to get you arrested any time soon). What I do know (thanks Wiki!) is that he was raised by his mother, a drug counselor who taught him to stay away from that shit. As an adult he’s been a dedicated family man who has partnered with fellow Carolinians Dell Curry and Jay Bilas to form Athletes United for Youth. Oh, and most recently he began interning at Morgan Stanley’s Charlotte branch. HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

Kellen Winslow, Browns: 6/1
Kellen’s record is cleaner than Brady Quinn’s jersey, and if being a douchebag was an arrestable offense in Ohio the whole state would be be on lockdown.

Best QB TANDEMS

2008-08-28T06:03:00.000-04:00

Rivals/Yahoo article on best QB tandems is a good read.

The Government wants you to Masturbate

2008-08-27T22:00:00.000-04:00

Just thought I'd say that since it's true. Since you might enjoy it, and porn, I thought I might point out that China kind of controls their internet and they pretty much permit nonstop jacking off and our government has probably even more control over the internet if they want anyway... So all I'm trying to point out is that the Government likes you masturbating and smoking weed and being drunk and really not accomplishing anything significant. They must, because it's permitted. It's the only conclusion that's really acceptable.

Ban is Over

2008-08-27T20:36:00.000-04:00

Ohio State, and surely others, will begin to replay controversial plays on the big screens. This play cost Ohio State their perfect season last year- or at least shouldn't have led to a TD.

The play to the right was clearly a fumble- that fumbled out of the endzone and was not replayed on the board and the referee who called the game has since been fired by the Big 10. Apparently, the coaches weren't able to hit their buttons for replay during this time either due to other "technical glitches." Well- that's all over now. The home techies are going to begin to work the refs. For more info, visit dottingthei...

Sneaky BC

2008-08-25T22:07:00.000-04:00

Boston College gets to visit one their recruiting hotbeds, Cleveland, home to some of the nations finest Catholic schools for a night game against Kent State- and get paid 150,000 to do it. It's being called the Patriot Bowl and is being played at Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Preseason All America

2008-08-25T21:06:00.001-04:00

SI Has their picture list up. Always annoying to have to flip through the pictures you don't like. I'd post them all here if I weren't so lazy.

CSTV, now CBS College Sports

2008-08-24T22:13:00.000-04:00

I've been wondering why all they do is play replays of SEC Games but now it's making sense. I forgot that CSTV existed, but was taken over by CBS. It was cool when it wasn't really affiliated with any particular conference. But CSTV did raise Trev Alberts from the grave of college football analysis. Sort of.

What I witnessed was nothing more than an ill-conceieved ESPN segment where they each picked conference winners, national championship participants, national champion winner and the Heisman winner. Trev continues his annoyance here now. But. He has toned down his disdain and sword swallowing a bit from his old days as the useless and hateful yin to Mark May's useless and hateful yang.

Anyways, it was better than watching the Chinese Government slave drive their civilians into weird performances where they almost seem happy.

The CBS station is parked clear up in the nosebleed 600 level near the new location for the Big 10 Network. Needless to say most DirecTV people don't even know to check out the channels up there so not too many casual sports fans will ever even get to watch Trev and his buddies. They don't even have Aaron whatshisname- triple forehead the Domer who was also castoff of ABC/ESPN's studio show.

Nobody Picking the Bucks

2008-08-24T11:40:00.000-04:00

Rivals has a roundtable discussion over who will be in the title game. We get Olin Buchanan and another writer thinking USC vs Missouri. Pretty much everybody picking USC and then a Georgia nod and Gators giggle... and some pretty lazy analysis. It's worth a quick scan as we get into the final week with kickoff looming probably Wednesday or Tuesday night.

Stew and a little Boogie

2008-08-24T11:24:00.001-04:00

Mandel actually writes a very good article about the top five national contenders and their area where they need to improve. It's actually excellent. It's nice to see him display a strength in his writing style. It's brief and capsulated. Very nice.

Teddy Ballgame?

2008-08-24T08:40:00.000-04:00

Roundup... There was nothing yesterday

2008-08-21T21:05:00.001-04:00

SEC coaching lineup by somebody who's given it some thought, Erik, at Deepsouthsports. He hates northern football but he's funny all the way.

Pryor is going to see some action. Shocker. Schlabach blogs it all up like a mother. Tressel is building a nice QB machine at OSU. Pryor might play 3 years, then 4th year rocket arm Bauserman will pull a Weinke at 25. Watch.

Stew's mailbag is back, finally. He makes a little list. Makes a rules change comment. Discusses Benny Mauk, from my wife's hometown, Kenton, Oh. He talks about Eugene Jarvis of Kent State, my alma mater not possibly winning the Heisman. Overall, one of his lazier endeavors, but there's not much football to talk about at this point.

Sagarin's crazy rankings are at it again. If he knew as much about football as he knows about computer programming he'd be dangerous.

Tuesday Night's Best

2008-08-19T21:47:00.001-04:00

Rivals discusses the college game's best LBs... The hype around 9/13 is too big.

Heismanpundit.com says get ready for the SEC to get their "makeup heismans" from the 1990s- not makeup really, but just the result of spread offenses and QBs making more plays all around.

CFN/Scout must be ESPing Rivals in neighboring bathroom stalls as they'be both issued LB reports today, with some similar results and descriptions.

Visit Sporting News if you want today. College football is ruled by the big boys. Even if they're losing, it's a story about the big boys. Always has been. Yet, somehow I was just turned off to go there and see... Missouri, Rutgers... a recruit for Oklahoma who won't even be playing this year? Georgia Southern? What's that? SI and Yahoo! both feature Rich Rodriguez on the front looking nasty. Those kind of stories inspire an emotion and Maisel's recent story on Neuheisel is phenomenal. They need to buck up over there at Sporting News. I know it takes balls to be out on the edge but they have to do more.

12000 show up to watch Freshman QB Pryor and the Bucks for open practice, of which, they have very few.

Gratful Blue's Fun with SEC Names

2008-08-19T08:23:00.000-04:00

It is classic. Excerpted: Mississippi StateThis is a special commendation for the Mississippi State Bulldogs. In addition to the names already mentioned above, they have a great looking roster. Sylvester Croom has been very selective in the kinds of names he recruits. Have a look:- Demario Bobo, DB - Great rhythmic sound for announcers. Go ahead - imagine how the stadium announcer would say it.- De'Mon Glanton, DB - Is that pronounced like "demon" or is it more like "de-moan" or "de-mahn?" I need to know.- Co-Eric Riley, WR - He's not the main Eric on the team. He's just a Co-Eric.- Jasper O'Quinn, DB - Is he a leprechaun?- Mike Hunt, DB - "Great coverage my Mike Hunt on that play. Mike Hunt was all over him. Mike Hunt is really looking good today. Uh-oh - it looks like Mike Hunt is hurt."

Sunday Night's Best

2008-08-17T21:33:00.000-04:00

Sportshernia has some of the new, fantastic features of Madden such as the secret code to turn the Browns Steelers game into excite bike racing Ben Roethlisberger vs "Lieutenant Winslow". The Pacman Tank feature allows the Cowboys to acquire any and all active criminals... cleek here and read em all.

This website, Pollspeak lets you analyze the pollsters. It's very cool. You can see how individuals are voting as well as how each team is voted on. Many of the voters allow their regional biases to influence them. Many are just plain stupid, but you can tell which ones are stupid right off the bat. And that's fun. Taylor Zarzour should probably have his voting privelages revoked. Wisconsin, 9 (no returning QB), Ohio State, 13th... Penn State 8th?

The Columbus Dispatch and others close to the program have been mentioning that Walt Harris is hanging around. He coached QBs and ran offense under Cooper during Coop's salad days with the Buckeyes when they were rolling up big numbers on offense. There's potential he could be stepping in to replace coach Joe Daniels (coached Marino at Pitt) who's been going through many, many rounds of chemo. Daniels looked bald, but very active during practice on the Big 10 Network's behind the scenes.
Most don't believe Tressel could ever give up control of the O or even accept input.

In current news, w/ 7:22 to go in the 3rd Quarter the Patriots are royally ineffective on Offense w/out Brady with poor protection, poor execution, lots of drops. Their frontline defense couldn't stop the Jenny Garcia-less Bucs either. They looked a step slow as Vrabel, Bruschi, John Lynch et al ust look like Grumpy old Men on the sidelines yukking it up while being down 27-3. You know what? It's good to be a millionaire athlete. I don't care who you are. The Pats can't catch or throw to guys in their color jerseys. A shotgun snap gone awry bounced right up into the arms of a blitzing Bucs safety for a quick six on Matt Cassel's last play.

Neighbor Jim

2008-08-16T23:34:00.000-04:00

He has the same remot I do. For the same fucking ceiling fan by Harbor Winds or some fucking shit. I hate it when he turns on the ceiling fan in the middle of the night and cranks up the light.

I let his motherfucking ass have it.

The first time it happened to us, I thought it was the ghost of my wife's brother because I just got back from Vegas and a bachelor party. But voodoo ain't that strong and I know Jim's ass is asking for it. I know it's him that's called the assocation for the lack of paint on my "metal striping" around the rooftiles- mfer!

Usain Bolt should go play for the Bears.

Georgia Football should still be tops...

2008-08-16T07:00:00.001-04:00

from ESPN’s Bruce Feldman:
… On the bright side, some SEC coaches I spoke to believe that UGA assistant Stacey Searles is the best O-line coach in the conference and that he will get the new front ready to play. It certainly doesn’t hurt that Georgia was a very big screen team last season, which also reduces the pressure on the line to pass protect.

Roundup

2008-08-14T20:53:00.001-04:00

The best description of top 25s ever... I haven't even read the comments yet, but they're sure to be the best.

Trojans got the itch... jock itch...

Deadspin Pokes a Gator

2008-08-13T23:17:00.000-04:00

You can go and hear Ronnie Wilson's potential victim's 911 call while "Taz" was brandishing the AK 47....

"Two black males in the front, one with an extra, extra large white t-shirt and gold teeth on the bottom." What's amazing about this 911 call is how calm the caller stays throughout. Even when he thinks a large, angry football player is getting out of the car in front of him with a baseball bat. And even when he realizes it's a semi-automatic weapon as opposed to a baseball bat. That, and how the 911 dispatcher keeps saying,"Okay, I would go ahead and drive," as if people call from the University of Florida's campus while confronted by guys with AK-47's all the time. Hell, maybe they do.

Before & After

2008-08-13T19:08:00.000-04:00

Borrowing a little Wheel of Fortune action... SI has picked Purdue's Tony-Curtis Painter as their top Big 10 offensive player. I choose to call him Tony Curtis Painter because white guys named Curtis are usually a little too into masturbation. Don't ask me why, that's just what I think when I hear about a white guy named Curtis. "They caught Curtis jacking off in the restroom at the bowling alley." "JJ's older brother Curtis has all the nudie mags. And vaseline. And his mom don't care."

Everybody's top choice for Heisman is Beanie Wells from Ohio State, so what SI is saying might be if Purdue can beat Ohio State Tony Curtis Painter wins the Theisman? I mean Heisman?

Gators & Dawgs losing some depth

2008-08-12T23:21:00.001-04:00

You have to wonder what's up w/ the conditioning at UF if all their players are blowing ACLs.

Georgia won't lose their poll position just yet over losing their QB's backside protection but if he was an all-star. He was a freshman last year and from the sounds of it, they're not sure who to plug in. Depth might be a problem for UGA.