Thursday Night Game: Pretty Amazing so few receivers come from the Southeaster Conference...

I think Fowler is looking forward to drinking the bongwater back in the DirecTv bus. Sally Jesse Palmer would only cop to prudish Gatorade and Fowler said, "Not what I had in mind", referring, of course, to rumrunners and coed 'tang that makes Erin Andrews look like a first class big nose bimbo; or not exactly.

Thanks to the internet these jokers can't get away with the fun they are entitled to and that sucks because assholes across the world not only own cell phones but they feel the need to attempt to be famous themselves by joining big brother while using photo capture and video capture and voice capture. This is lame. If a person on TV is going to party you need to look the other way.

Saturday, Bloody Saturday

How Long?

How long must we sing this song?

ESPN has potted their trash on the front lawn again and it reads like a meth-head's tattoo splattered across their forearm with little more than a juiced up ink pen. It's a typical exercise in a lack of effort deigning sensibility in place of data. I get it. But it's just stupid. Michigan is bad but they aren't one of the 10 worst teams in all of 1A.

I guess they have to feed the starving public something in place of news when there's no real dirt going on.

How many times can you spin Joe Paterno stories? I for one am in favor of no longer calling him JoePa- like Grandpa. I get it. It was cute the first 9079989i times.

Tebow. Enough already. Beat the dead horse on the week's story just like every other purported news reporting entity and if they can't do that they make up something salacious- or half make it up.

I'm bitching a bit, but can't we draw more insightful inferences out of the college football game? I've found that I have more to say in the offseason than actually during the season because it's all right in front of us during the season. Out of season, there's much more to speculate on therefore making debate that much more heated. During the season all we can do is drink, bitch, smile and get drunk.

Did I say I love the ladies?

Well, that was a complete interjection that means absolutely nothing relevant.

Let's run through Espen's purported bottom ten with something witty of our own, shall we?

1. N. Tejas? Well, I haven't watched one of their games, but they're green and therefore probably smoke a lot of cannabis- aka frotuss.

2. Washington? Probably not that bad if they played a week-ass schedule like Texas Tech; they'd probably be undefeated at this point or maybe sitting w/ one loss and the same coach who can't win big games or recruit evenly.

3. Washington State? Well, this is probably the worst team. Poor Wazzu. They shouldn't be down for too long. I'd love to be the coach at a program like Wazzu. Just go cross country cleaning up on b-plan recruits.

4. SMU? Bring back the Pony Express- next.

5. Michigan? Richrod? Where's your adaptability? Defense? Where's your godlike S&C coach?

6. San Diego State? How can they really be bad? Just mark a circle within 75 mile radius of campus and save gas recruiting and you'll surely make a Miami-like monster. Trust me.

7. Syracuse? This is really sad. Why can't NY produce football talent? Or the NE in general? The people from TX, OH, PA, FL, CA, GA, LA should send missionaries to that part of the country and teach them how to eat corn and beef.

8. Utah State? Who are they? Didn't that lineman from the Broncos play for them? Send them back to DII.

9. Miami University? The Redhawks (Redskins!!!!!!) Cradle of coaches? Must need a new coach.

10. Wyoming? I thought they were good? Get Dick Cheney to donate 100million to your school and join the Big12 and kick Missouri to the Big10.

Cheers

CSTV, now CBS College Sports

I've been wondering why all they do is play replays of SEC Games but now it's making sense. I forgot that CSTV existed, but was taken over by CBS. It was cool when it wasn't really affiliated with any particular conference. But CSTV did raise Trev Alberts from the grave of college football analysis. Sort of.

What I witnessed was nothing more than an ill-conceieved ESPN segment where they each picked conference winners, national championship participants, national champion winner and the Heisman winner. Trev continues his annoyance here now. But. He has toned down his disdain and sword swallowing a bit from his old days as the useless and hateful yin to Mark May's useless and hateful yang.

Anyways, it was better than watching the Chinese Government slave drive their civilians into weird performances where they almost seem happy.

The CBS station is parked clear up in the nosebleed 600 level near the new location for the Big 10 Network. Needless to say most DirecTV people don't even know to check out the channels up there so not too many casual sports fans will ever even get to watch Trev and his buddies. They don't even have Aaron whatshisname- triple forehead the Domer who was also castoff of ABC/ESPN's studio show.

Roundup... There was nothing yesterday

SEC coaching lineup by somebody who's given it some thought, Erik, at Deepsouthsports. He hates northern football but he's funny all the way.

Pryor is going to see some action. Shocker. Schlabach blogs it all up like a mother. Tressel is building a nice QB machine at OSU. Pryor might play 3 years, then 4th year rocket arm Bauserman will pull a Weinke at 25. Watch.

Stew's mailbag is back, finally. He makes a little list. Makes a rules change comment. Discusses Benny Mauk, from my wife's hometown, Kenton, Oh. He talks about Eugene Jarvis of Kent State, my alma mater not possibly winning the Heisman. Overall, one of his lazier endeavors, but there's not much football to talk about at this point.

Sagarin's crazy rankings are at it again. If he knew as much about football as he knows about computer programming he'd be dangerous.

Tuesday Night's Best

Rivals discusses the college game's best LBs... The hype around 9/13 is too big.

Heismanpundit.com says get ready for the SEC to get their "makeup heismans" from the 1990s- not makeup really, but just the result of spread offenses and QBs making more plays all around.

CFN/Scout must be ESPing Rivals in neighboring bathroom stalls as they'be both issued LB reports today, with some similar results and descriptions.

Visit Sporting News if you want today. College football is ruled by the big boys. Even if they're losing, it's a story about the big boys. Always has been. Yet, somehow I was just turned off to go there and see... Missouri, Rutgers... a recruit for Oklahoma who won't even be playing this year? Georgia Southern? What's that? SI and Yahoo! both feature Rich Rodriguez on the front looking nasty. Those kind of stories inspire an emotion and Maisel's recent story on Neuheisel is phenomenal. They need to buck up over there at Sporting News. I know it takes balls to be out on the edge but they have to do more.

12000 show up to watch Freshman QB Pryor and the Bucks for open practice, of which, they have very few.

Deion Sanders Disses Mike & Mike

Deion Sanders refused to discuss Brett Favre with the radio program this morning on grounds that it violates something contractual with the NFL network and said to the effect, "Come on guys, you know I can't talk about that stuff with you," basically rubbing their noses in the fact and being very non-Deionish. Greenberg's nose was noticeably bent out of shape about it. Deion went against his own rule and commented on it anyway by saying it was a lateral move and he wasn't a big fan of the move.

His job was to discuss the stupid ass Madden Palooza taking place at the Rose Bowl tomorrow or something. Of course Brett Favre is on the cover of Madden in a Packers Uni this year but who really cares.

Not Really Part Deux

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Erin Andrews dressed up like a hooker at a baseball game; doing interviews in the clubhouse dressed up like a date I wouldn't want to be seen with. I know that guys drool all over her and she's on tv and somewhat statuesque but the hair is bad, the dress is bad and the shoes and legs just don't look that good at all. I'm not impressed. The baseball players all do a lot better for themselves than her. That's all I gotta say.

ESPN DOING DUMB THINGS

CENTRAL OHIO -- Calling all Buckeye fans. ESPN asked for your help.
The network is taping a segment for its series Titletown USA.

The taping will happen at 10:30 a.m. Thursday at the Horseshoe. All Buckeye fans are invited to be a part of the background, a la college game day.
It's a contest to see which city is America's best sport town, and Archie Griffin will be the show's guest.

This sounds really good. They'll get a campus full of Indians, Chinese, Vietnemese and 8th year undergrads; a mixture of pachuli oil, hackey sac, marijuoana, and non-stoned east Asians.

They can just put signs up on High Street that say "Nickel Pitchers" and "Engineering Forum" this way! It'll be packed with stoners, jocksniffs and nerds. Don't forget the fris.