Friday, October 31, 2008

Do Not Fear

Captain Compete is Here

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Aggie Report is Hilarious

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Even MSU is making fun of Michigan now



Okay, MSU, do it again next year and you can break out the banjo.

Saturday, Bloody Saturday


How Long?

How long must we sing this song?

ESPN has potted their trash on the front lawn again and it reads like a meth-head's tattoo splattered across their forearm with little more than a juiced up ink pen. It's a typical exercise in a lack of effort deigning sensibility in place of data. I get it. But it's just stupid. Michigan is bad but they aren't one of the 10 worst teams in all of 1A.

I guess they have to feed the starving public something in place of news when there's no real dirt going on.

How many times can you spin Joe Paterno stories? I for one am in favor of no longer calling him JoePa- like Grandpa. I get it. It was cute the first 9079989i times.

Tebow. Enough already. Beat the dead horse on the week's story just like every other purported news reporting entity and if they can't do that they make up something salacious- or half make it up.

I'm bitching a bit, but can't we draw more insightful inferences out of the college football game? I've found that I have more to say in the offseason than actually during the season because it's all right in front of us during the season. Out of season, there's much more to speculate on therefore making debate that much more heated. During the season all we can do is drink, bitch, smile and get drunk.

Did I say I love the ladies?

Well, that was a complete interjection that means absolutely nothing relevant.

Let's run through Espen's purported bottom ten with something witty of our own, shall we?

1. N. Tejas? Well, I haven't watched one of their games, but they're green and therefore probably smoke a lot of cannabis- aka frotuss.

2. Washington? Probably not that bad if they played a week-ass schedule like Texas Tech; they'd probably be undefeated at this point or maybe sitting w/ one loss and the same coach who can't win big games or recruit evenly.

3. Washington State? Well, this is probably the worst team. Poor Wazzu. They shouldn't be down for too long. I'd love to be the coach at a program like Wazzu. Just go cross country cleaning up on b-plan recruits.

4. SMU? Bring back the Pony Express- next.

5. Michigan? Richrod? Where's your adaptability? Defense? Where's your godlike S&C coach?

6. San Diego State? How can they really be bad? Just mark a circle within 75 mile radius of campus and save gas recruiting and you'll surely make a Miami-like monster. Trust me.

7. Syracuse? This is really sad. Why can't NY produce football talent? Or the NE in general? The people from TX, OH, PA, FL, CA, GA, LA should send missionaries to that part of the country and teach them how to eat corn and beef.

8. Utah State? Who are they? Didn't that lineman from the Broncos play for them? Send them back to DII.

9. Miami University? The Redhawks (Redskins!!!!!!) Cradle of coaches? Must need a new coach.

10. Wyoming? I thought they were good? Get Dick Cheney to donate 100million to your school and join the Big12 and kick Missouri to the Big10.

Cheers

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Take a trip down memory lane:

How Cool Is this List?

The Preliminary Pro Football Hall of Fame List....


Shannon Sharpe retired as the NFL's all-time leader in receiving yards for a tight end.
CANTON, Ohio -- Defensive end Bruce Smith, defensive back Rod Woodson and tight end Shannon Sharpe are first-year eligible candidates among the list of 133 players, coaches and contributors who make up the preliminary list of modern-era nominees for election to the Pro Football Hall of Fame's Class of 2009.
Photos ... Road to immortality » 2008 enshrinement » More photos
From this preliminary list of modern-era nominees, Hall of Fame selectors will choose 25 candidates who will advance as semifinalist nominees. The list of 25 modern-era semifinalists will be announced later next month.
The 25 modern-era semifinalists list will be reduced by a mail ballot to 15 modern-era finalists.
The final list of nominees that will be considered for election will consist of the 15 modern-era finalists and the two previously announced senior nominees, Bob Hayes and Claude Humphrey. Hayes and Humphrey were selected this past August by the Hall of Fame's Senior Selection Committee.
Hayes, a three-time All-NFL pick, amassed 371 career receptions for 7,414 yards and 71 touchdowns during his 11-season career with the Dallas Cowboys (1965-1974) and the San Francisco 49ers (1975). He also returned 104 punts for 1,158 yards and three touchdowns and had 23 kickoff returns for 581 yards.
Humphrey, a defensive end, was selected third overall in the 1968 draft by the Atlanta Falcons. The NFL's Defensive Rookie of the Year he earned first team All-Pro honors in 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974 and 1977 and was named to six Pro Bowls during his career with the Falcons (1968-1978) and Philadelphia Eagles (1979-1981).
The Class of 2009 will be selected from the list of 17 finalists (15 modern-era and two senior nominees). The actual voting will be conducted at the Hall of Fame Selection Committee's annual meeting, which will be held on Saturday, January 31, 2009, in Tampa, Florida the day before Super Bowl XLIII. The election results will be announced immediately after the meeting at a press conference in the media headquarters. While there is no set number for any class of enshrinees, the ground rules provide that between four and seven new members will be selected.

Rick Stewart / Getty Images
Bruce Smith is the NFL's all-time leader with 200 sacks.» Photos: 1990s All-Decade Team

George Rose / Getty Images
Roger Craig was the first running back to record 1,000 yards rushing and 1,000 yards receiving in the same season.» Photos: 1980s All-Decade Team

Jim Gund / Getty Images
Sam Mills was a five-time Pro Bowler at linebacker.» Photos: All-time NFL greats

John Sandhaus / NFL
Clay Matthews played 19 seasons in the NFL at linebacker.» Photos: All-time NFL greats

Al Messerschmidt / NFL
Don Coryell's Chargers led the NFL in passing yards in six consecutive seasons, an NFL record.» Photos: All-time NFL greats
The preliminary list includes 110 players, seven coaches and 16 contributors, including former NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and longtime team owners Bud Adams, Jerry Jones, Art Modell and Ralph Wilson.
To be considered for Hall of Fame election, a nominated player or coach must have been retired at least five years. A contributor, who is a nominee who has made outstanding career contributions to pro football in capacities other than playing or coaching, may still be active in his pro football career.
Preliminary list of nominees for class of 2009
First-year eligible nominees:
RUNNING BACKS -- Larry Centers, Brian Mitchell (also KR/PR).
TIGHT ENDS -- Shannon Sharpe, Frank Wycheck.
OFFENSIVE TACKLE -- Lincoln Kennedy.
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN -- John Randle (DE/DT), Bruce Smith (DE), Dana Stubblefield (DT).
LINEBACKER -- Jessie Armstead.
DEFENSIVE BACKS -- Darren Woodson (S), Rod Woodson (CB/S).
Additional nominees:
QUARTERBACKS -- Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason, Jim Plunkett, Phil Simms, Ken Stabler, Joe Theismann, Doug Williams.
RUNNING BACKS -- Ottis Anderson, Roger Craig, Terrell Davis, Greg Pruitt (also KR/PR), Herschel Walker, Ricky Watters.
WIDE RECEIVERS -- Cliff Branch, Harold Carmichael, *Cris Carter, Wes Chandler, Gary Clark, Isaac Curtis, Henry Ellard, Irving Fryar, Roy Green, Harold Jackson, Herman Moore, Stanley Morgan, *Andre Reed, Sterling Sharpe.
TIGHT ENDS -- Mark Bavaro, Todd Christensen, Ben Coates, Russ Francis, Brent Jones, Steve Jordan.
OFFENSIVE LINEMEN -- Tony Boselli (T), Lomas Brown (T), Jim Covert (T), Randy Cross (G/C), Dave Dalby (C), Dermontti Dawson (C), Ray Donaldson (C), *Russ Grimm (G), Jay Hilgenberg (C), Kent Hill (G/T), Chris Hinton (G/T), Kent Hull (C), Joe Jacoby (T), Mike Kenn (T), *Bob Kuechenberg (G), Jim Lachey (T), Henry Lawrence (G/T), Mark May (G/T/C), *Randall McDaniel (G), Max Montoya (G), Marvin Powell (T), Steve Wisniewski (G).
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN -- Ray Childress (DT/DE), *Richard Dent (DE), Chris Doleman (DE/LB), Carl "Big Daddy" Hairston (DE/DT), Charles Haley (DE/LB), Ed "Too Tall" Jones (DE), Cortez Kennedy (DT), Joe Klecko (DE/DT/NT), Steve McMichael (DT/NT), Leslie O'Neal (DE), Fred Smerlas (NT), Art Still (DE).
LINEBACKERS -- Cornelius Bennett, Robert Brazile, Kevin Greene (LB/DE), Ken Harvey, Rickey Jackson, Tom Jackson, Clay Matthews, Karl Mecklenburg, Sam Mills, Hardy Nickerson, Chris Spielman, Pat Swilling, Darryl Talley, *Derrick Thomas.
DEFENSIVE BACKS -- Eric Allen (CB), Steve Atwater (S), Joey Browner (S), LeRoy Butler (S), Deron Cherry (S), Raymond Clayborn (CB), Kenny Easley (S), Lester Hayes (CB), Albert Lewis (CB), Ken Riley (CB), Eugene Robinson (S), Donnie Shell (S), Louis Wright (CB).
PUNTERS/KICKERS -- Rich Camarillo (P), *Ray Guy (P), Nick Lowery (K), Reggie Roby (P).
SPECIAL TEAMS/WIDE RECEIVER -- Steve Tasker.
COACHES -- Don Coryell, Tom Flores, Jimmy Johnson, Chuck Knox, Buddy Parker, Dan Reeves, Clark Shaughnessy.
CONTRIBUTORS -- Bud Adams, Gil Brandt, C.O. Brocato, Leo Carlin, Ed DeBartolo, Jr., Ben Dreith, Bob Harlan, Jerry Jones, Art Modell, Art Rooney, Jr., Ed Sabol, Steve Sabol, *Paul Tagliabue, Ralph Wilson, Jr., Ron Wolf, George Young.
*On 2008 17 finalists list

NBA = Home Team Doesn't Foul

Watching Cavs vs Celtics. Have seen LeBron get fouled 3 times within 5 minutes and it not be called. Meanwhile Garnett gets mystery fouled and goes to the line. It's not Celtic love. I'm certain that it's Home Team Love.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Oklahoma State denies allegations

Oklahoma State has come forth and stated that T Boone Pickens has plenty of other money and he'll be dead sooner or later so there's nothing to worry about. Continue with the construction.

Move along nothing to see here...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

A spin on Wass'up; political

Saturday, October 25, 2008

ridiculousness

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Oklahoma State is SCREWED?!?!?!?!?!?

It appears that Mr. Pickens decided that a long only oil strategy was a good idea with his 165million dollar donation to Oklahoma State's athletic program which he didn't actually completely give...

After ballooning to 300million the school rushed to finance construction and has now been told that due to margin calls the 300million is now worth---- zero.

Talk about delevereging.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Gameday Signs: My suggestions

1. Bonnie Bernstein's pink panties approve this message.

2. No Horseshoe for Old Men

3. Borat says Penn State #3, NOT

4. Hey RichRod: Spread This

5. Hey RichRod: Where's the D?

6. You People Are Blocking the Library

7. Ohio State (above a hand drawn in the form of THE SHOCKER) Shocks Penn State

8. JoePa gets older, the college girls stay the same age

9. Now for this touching Tebow Moment...

10. Will Penn St show up? There's no real grass on the field.

11. Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

12. JoePa assaulted a female flight attendant.

13. Keep PSU off the streets.

14. JoePa has uncontrollable gas and must sit in a room by himself.

15. Touchdown Irish... just kidding.

16. (Picture of JoePa) The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

17. JoePa: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year. Tress: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.

18. Remember Corso - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

You've been BW3'd

The umpire is taught to step up almost through the action but this ump decides to show is yellow colors don't run.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Saturday Randomness

OSU is blowing up Michigan St. It's weird. It's not even like MSU is playing bad at all. Tressel is just actually calling plays that will get first downs. He was hilarious at his halftime interview with the very nice Stacey Dales.

Currently watching this Michigan Penn State game and the Dracula music PSU plays on occasion (listening in mega stereo) actually just scared me. McGuffie just fumbled a k/o return and UM luckily recovered.

Georgia struggled quite a bit today w/ Vandy. Moreno looked impressive. Don't know why they just don't run him every play practically.

NWestern and Iowa both looked pretty good today.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Bowl Week!

I bet you didn't really realize that this week we have games between contenders here and there. I like to refer to it as my bowl week when crap like this happens. I like to watch a battle of titans root for the underdog so everything can be as screwed up as possible.


In the "Every Players is From Texas on Both Teams Bowl" is "The Red River Rivalry" of Texas vs Oklahoma. Stoops seems to have the upper hand this year. His team has looked surgically smart for the whole season but have played a bunch of sloppy joes up until this point.


Mack Brown is as relaxed as ever. Losing doesn't seem to bother ol' Mack nearly as much. He's a great guy and has plenty of Texas's finest playing for him.




The Bobby Boucher Bourbon Bowl features the Bayou Boys of LSU versus the Florida Swamp Boys. Ricky-Jean Francois vs Timmy Tebow and Percy Harvin. Somewhere there's a coach or two on the sidelines that doesn't make any sense. I have a feeling Urban Meyer will transmit Henry Winkler emotions as he feels that LSU has stolen all of his good plays.



Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Hey Humble Readers!


Just when you think it's a great/awful idea... think about peak-bullshit-theory...

Above is the chart for Corn. You can see the price deterorating following the standard summer rains. Well. Just think of it as a chart for Alabama Football following an unexpected huge upset. They will choke now that the spotlight is hot on their backs. Expect the similiar misfortune from Ch-oklahoma. Sorry, Sooner Fans but the Big12 will deliver a blow.

The good news is for the economy. We're experiencing a bull market in bad news which will inevitebly be followed by mountains of unexpected good news as a result of falling energy prices and interest rates. You can't fight the fed, good bargains, and outrageous gains in human productivity that are unmatched in the history of mankind. Sorry nasty people. The sale is on and those of us with jobs will begin making more money than ever. Like 2 weeks ago.