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Morgan Trent Getting Some Percy

Spongebong Hemppants & Hashbrick

Spongebong Hemppants - The most amazing bloopers are here

40 Years Later, This is What is Needed..

I hate to be all freedom rock and shit and stand up and have a dream... A dream that is clear and not all Boca-Y... La La La. It appears that our American way of life is being castigated by some Russian dufas. He seems to be saying that we're about to split into... a lot of different countries.

Number one: we're not sophisticated enough to pull off such a feet.

B: We're not smart enough.

3. We're too internationally oriented to even think about... what? Hilarious. I love this guy. I don't know how he made Drudge's top headlines but it's brilliant and he should get a million bucks for just that. Is he dating Carrie Underwood?

Take off Eh?

Hey, if you had followed the 12 point program we wouldn't've had to jump start you like this.

The one below is definitely my two brothers, Josh and Matthew... And Cooley, actually.

Sci Fi looking for Beer

How to get free beer.

Soccer killing the Big 10?

Another factor nobody is mentioning is the growing popularity of that "running around sport"- SOCCER!

The U could be... special

If they had an offense that could not try and run the QB all the time.

Lots of dropped passes in this game.

Option Attack

The Kicking Game

Birthday Free Stylin

Do Not Fear

Captain Compete is Here

The Aggie Report is Hilarious

Even MSU is making fun of Michigan now

Okay, MSU, do it again next year and you can break out the banjo.

Saturday, Bloody Saturday

How Long?

How long must we sing this song?

ESPN has potted their trash on the front lawn again and it reads like a meth-head's tattoo splattered across their forearm with little more than a juiced up ink pen. It's a typical exercise in a lack of effort deigning sensibility in place of data. I get it. But it's just stupid. Michigan is bad but they aren't one of the 10 worst teams in all of 1A.

I guess they have to feed the starving public something in place of news when there's no real dirt going on.

How many times can you spin Joe Paterno stories? I for one am in favor of no longer calling him JoePa- like Grandpa. I get it. It was cute the first 9079989i times.

Tebow. Enough already. Beat the dead horse on the week's story just like every other purported news reporting entity and if they can't do that they make up something salacious- or half make it up.

I'm bitching a bit, but can't we draw more insightful inferences out of the college football game? I've found that I have more to say in the offseason than actually during the season because it's all right in front of us during the season. Out of season, there's much more to speculate on therefore making debate that much more heated. During the season all we can do is drink, bitch, smile and get drunk.

Did I say I love the ladies?

Well, that was a complete interjection that means absolutely nothing relevant.

Let's run through Espen's purported bottom ten with something witty of our own, shall we?

1. N. Tejas? Well, I haven't watched one of their games, but they're green and therefore probably smoke a lot of cannabis- aka frotuss.

2. Washington? Probably not that bad if they played a week-ass schedule like Texas Tech; they'd probably be undefeated at this point or maybe sitting w/ one loss and the same coach who can't win big games or recruit evenly.

3. Washington State? Well, this is probably the worst team. Poor Wazzu. They shouldn't be down for too long. I'd love to be the coach at a program like Wazzu. Just go cross country cleaning up on b-plan recruits.

4. SMU? Bring back the Pony Express- next.

5. Michigan? Richrod? Where's your adaptability? Defense? Where's your godlike S&C coach?

6. San Diego State? How can they really be bad? Just mark a circle within 75 mile radius of campus and save gas recruiting and you'll surely make a Miami-like monster. Trust me.

7. Syracuse? This is really sad. Why can't NY produce football talent? Or the NE in general? The people from TX, OH, PA, FL, CA, GA, LA should send missionaries to that part of the country and teach them how to eat corn and beef.

8. Utah State? Who are they? Didn't that lineman from the Broncos play for them? Send them back to DII.

9. Miami University? The Redhawks (Redskins!!!!!!) Cradle of coaches? Must need a new coach.

10. Wyoming? I thought they were good? Get Dick Cheney to donate 100million to your school and join the Big12 and kick Missouri to the Big10.

Cheers

Take a trip down memory lane:

How Cool Is this List?

The Preliminary Pro Football Hall of Fame List....


Shannon Sharpe retired as the NFL's all-time leader in receiving yards for a tight end.
CANTON, Ohio -- Defensive end Bruce Smith, defensive back Rod Woodson and tight end Shannon Sharpe are first-year eligible candidates among the list of 133 players, coaches and contributors who make up the preliminary list of modern-era nominees for election to the Pro Football Hall of Fame's Class of 2009.
Photos ... Road to immortality » 2008 enshrinement » More photos
From this preliminary list of modern-era nominees, Hall of Fame selectors will choose 25 candidates who will advance as semifinalist nominees. The list of 25 modern-era semifinalists will be announced later next month.
The 25 modern-era semifinalists list will be reduced by a mail ballot to 15 modern-era finalists.
The final list of nominees that will be considered for election will consist of the 15 modern-era finalists and the two previously announced senior nominees, Bob Hayes and Claude Humphrey. Hayes and Humphrey were selected this past August by the Hall of Fame's Senior Selection Committee.
Hayes, a three-time All-NFL pick, amassed 371 career receptions for 7,414 yards and 71 touchdowns during his 11-season career with the Dallas Cowboys (1965-1974) and the San Francisco 49ers (1975). He also returned 104 punts for 1,158 yards and three touchdowns and had 23 kickoff returns for 581 yards.
Humphrey, a defensive end, was selected third overall in the 1968 draft by the Atlanta Falcons. The NFL's Defensive Rookie of the Year he earned first team All-Pro honors in 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974 and 1977 and was named to six Pro Bowls during his career with the Falcons (1968-1978) and Philadelphia Eagles (1979-1981).
The Class of 2009 will be selected from the list of 17 finalists (15 modern-era and two senior nominees). The actual voting will be conducted at the Hall of Fame Selection Committee's annual meeting, which will be held on Saturday, January 31, 2009, in Tampa, Florida the day before Super Bowl XLIII. The election results will be announced immediately after the meeting at a press conference in the media headquarters. While there is no set number for any class of enshrinees, the ground rules provide that between four and seven new members will be selected.

Rick Stewart / Getty Images
Bruce Smith is the NFL's all-time leader with 200 sacks.» Photos: 1990s All-Decade Team

George Rose / Getty Images
Roger Craig was the first running back to record 1,000 yards rushing and 1,000 yards receiving in the same season.» Photos: 1980s All-Decade Team

Jim Gund / Getty Images
Sam Mills was a five-time Pro Bowler at linebacker.» Photos: All-time NFL greats

John Sandhaus / NFL
Clay Matthews played 19 seasons in the NFL at linebacker.» Photos: All-time NFL greats

Al Messerschmidt / NFL
Don Coryell's Chargers led the NFL in passing yards in six consecutive seasons, an NFL record.» Photos: All-time NFL greats
The preliminary list includes 110 players, seven coaches and 16 contributors, including former NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and longtime team owners Bud Adams, Jerry Jones, Art Modell and Ralph Wilson.
To be considered for Hall of Fame election, a nominated player or coach must have been retired at least five years. A contributor, who is a nominee who has made outstanding career contributions to pro football in capacities other than playing or coaching, may still be active in his pro football career.
Preliminary list of nominees for class of 2009
First-year eligible nominees:
RUNNING BACKS -- Larry Centers, Brian Mitchell (also KR/PR).
TIGHT ENDS -- Shannon Sharpe, Frank Wycheck.
OFFENSIVE TACKLE -- Lincoln Kennedy.
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN -- John Randle (DE/DT), Bruce Smith (DE), Dana Stubblefield (DT).
LINEBACKER -- Jessie Armstead.
DEFENSIVE BACKS -- Darren Woodson (S), Rod Woodson (CB/S).
Additional nominees:
QUARTERBACKS -- Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason, Jim Plunkett, Phil Simms, Ken Stabler, Joe Theismann, Doug Williams.
RUNNING BACKS -- Ottis Anderson, Roger Craig, Terrell Davis, Greg Pruitt (also KR/PR), Herschel Walker, Ricky Watters.
WIDE RECEIVERS -- Cliff Branch, Harold Carmichael, *Cris Carter, Wes Chandler, Gary Clark, Isaac Curtis, Henry Ellard, Irving Fryar, Roy Green, Harold Jackson, Herman Moore, Stanley Morgan, *Andre Reed, Sterling Sharpe.
TIGHT ENDS -- Mark Bavaro, Todd Christensen, Ben Coates, Russ Francis, Brent Jones, Steve Jordan.
OFFENSIVE LINEMEN -- Tony Boselli (T), Lomas Brown (T), Jim Covert (T), Randy Cross (G/C), Dave Dalby (C), Dermontti Dawson (C), Ray Donaldson (C), *Russ Grimm (G), Jay Hilgenberg (C), Kent Hill (G/T), Chris Hinton (G/T), Kent Hull (C), Joe Jacoby (T), Mike Kenn (T), *Bob Kuechenberg (G), Jim Lachey (T), Henry Lawrence (G/T), Mark May (G/T/C), *Randall McDaniel (G), Max Montoya (G), Marvin Powell (T), Steve Wisniewski (G).
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN -- Ray Childress (DT/DE), *Richard Dent (DE), Chris Doleman (DE/LB), Carl "Big Daddy" Hairston (DE/DT), Charles Haley (DE/LB), Ed "Too Tall" Jones (DE), Cortez Kennedy (DT), Joe Klecko (DE/DT/NT), Steve McMichael (DT/NT), Leslie O'Neal (DE), Fred Smerlas (NT), Art Still (DE).
LINEBACKERS -- Cornelius Bennett, Robert Brazile, Kevin Greene (LB/DE), Ken Harvey, Rickey Jackson, Tom Jackson, Clay Matthews, Karl Mecklenburg, Sam Mills, Hardy Nickerson, Chris Spielman, Pat Swilling, Darryl Talley, *Derrick Thomas.
DEFENSIVE BACKS -- Eric Allen (CB), Steve Atwater (S), Joey Browner (S), LeRoy Butler (S), Deron Cherry (S), Raymond Clayborn (CB), Kenny Easley (S), Lester Hayes (CB), Albert Lewis (CB), Ken Riley (CB), Eugene Robinson (S), Donnie Shell (S), Louis Wright (CB).
PUNTERS/KICKERS -- Rich Camarillo (P), *Ray Guy (P), Nick Lowery (K), Reggie Roby (P).
SPECIAL TEAMS/WIDE RECEIVER -- Steve Tasker.
COACHES -- Don Coryell, Tom Flores, Jimmy Johnson, Chuck Knox, Buddy Parker, Dan Reeves, Clark Shaughnessy.
CONTRIBUTORS -- Bud Adams, Gil Brandt, C.O. Brocato, Leo Carlin, Ed DeBartolo, Jr., Ben Dreith, Bob Harlan, Jerry Jones, Art Modell, Art Rooney, Jr., Ed Sabol, Steve Sabol, *Paul Tagliabue, Ralph Wilson, Jr., Ron Wolf, George Young.
*On 2008 17 finalists list

NBA = Home Team Doesn't Foul

Watching Cavs vs Celtics. Have seen LeBron get fouled 3 times within 5 minutes and it not be called. Meanwhile Garnett gets mystery fouled and goes to the line. It's not Celtic love. I'm certain that it's Home Team Love.

Oklahoma State denies allegations

Oklahoma State has come forth and stated that T Boone Pickens has plenty of other money and he'll be dead sooner or later so there's nothing to worry about. Continue with the construction.

Move along nothing to see here...

A spin on Wass'up; political

ridiculousness

Oklahoma State is SCREWED?!?!?!?!?!?

It appears that Mr. Pickens decided that a long only oil strategy was a good idea with his 165million dollar donation to Oklahoma State's athletic program which he didn't actually completely give...

After ballooning to 300million the school rushed to finance construction and has now been told that due to margin calls the 300million is now worth---- zero.

Talk about delevereging.

Gameday Signs: My suggestions

1. Bonnie Bernstein's pink panties approve this message.

2. No Horseshoe for Old Men

3. Borat says Penn State #3, NOT

4. Hey RichRod: Spread This

5. Hey RichRod: Where's the D?

6. You People Are Blocking the Library

7. Ohio State (above a hand drawn in the form of THE SHOCKER) Shocks Penn State

8. JoePa gets older, the college girls stay the same age

9. Now for this touching Tebow Moment...

10. Will Penn St show up? There's no real grass on the field.

11. Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

12. JoePa assaulted a female flight attendant.

13. Keep PSU off the streets.

14. JoePa has uncontrollable gas and must sit in a room by himself.

15. Touchdown Irish... just kidding.

16. (Picture of JoePa) The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

17. JoePa: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year. Tress: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.

18. Remember Corso - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

You've been BW3'd

The umpire is taught to step up almost through the action but this ump decides to show is yellow colors don't run.

Saturday Randomness

OSU is blowing up Michigan St. It's weird. It's not even like MSU is playing bad at all. Tressel is just actually calling plays that will get first downs. He was hilarious at his halftime interview with the very nice Stacey Dales.

Currently watching this Michigan Penn State game and the Dracula music PSU plays on occasion (listening in mega stereo) actually just scared me. McGuffie just fumbled a k/o return and UM luckily recovered.

Georgia struggled quite a bit today w/ Vandy. Moreno looked impressive. Don't know why they just don't run him every play practically.

NWestern and Iowa both looked pretty good today.

Bowl Week!

I bet you didn't really realize that this week we have games between contenders here and there. I like to refer to it as my bowl week when crap like this happens. I like to watch a battle of titans root for the underdog so everything can be as screwed up as possible.

In the "Every Players is From Texas on Both Teams Bowl" is "The Red River Rivalry" of Texas vs Oklahoma. Stoops seems to have the upper hand this year. His team has looked surgically smart for the whole season but have played a bunch of sloppy joes up until this point.

Mack Brown is as relaxed as ever. Losing doesn't seem to bother ol' Mack nearly as much. He's a great guy and has plenty of Texas's finest playing for him.

The Bobby Boucher Bourbon Bowl features the Bayou Boys of LSU versus the Florida Swamp Boys. Ricky-Jean Francois vs Timmy Tebow and Percy Harvin. Somewhere there's a coach or two on the sidelines that doesn't make any sense. I have a feeling Urban Meyer will transmit Henry Winkler emotions as he feels that LSU has stolen all of his good plays.

Hey Humble Readers!

Just when you think it's a great/awful idea... think about peak-bullshit-theory...

Above is the chart for Corn. You can see the price deterorating following the standard summer rains. Well. Just think of it as a chart for Alabama Football following an unexpected huge upset. They will choke now that the spotlight is hot on their backs. Expect the similiar misfortune from Ch-oklahoma. Sorry, Sooner Fans but the Big12 will deliver a blow.

The good news is for the economy. We're experiencing a bull market in bad news which will inevitebly be followed by mountains of unexpected good news as a result of falling energy prices and interest rates. You can't fight the fed, good bargains, and outrageous gains in human productivity that are unmatched in the history of mankind. Sorry nasty people. The sale is on and those of us with jobs will begin making more money than ever. Like 2 weeks ago.

Holy Erin Andrews's Areola!!

Erin loves talking about domination.... nobody dominated here tonight but Jacquizz Rodgers the RB for Oregon St had the best line just now.... "How did you do it EA said"...

"I was just hidin behind my line all night... I'm a small dude... They couldn't find me!"


Classic.

It's a game I'll remember my whole life... and my own quote about Erin's Areola.

Out.

Holy Shitballz

Penn State and Stanford beat Oregon State... and Oregon State is whupping up on USC 21 to No Reason at the half.

This is this year's game of the century but are we really surprised? Dr. Lou could've predicted it. If USC doesn't have an erection to put their Trojan Wrap around then they don't have a clue as to what to do. The game goes and goes and the offense hasn't been on the field for more than 12 minutes out of 30. No rhythm.

I love that word rhythm... no vowels.

Ringer: The Featured Back

Looks like Javon Ringer will get some Heisman pub from ESPN today. There really hasn't been a breakout back other than Javon. He's faced some pretty weak run defense so far this year but that's not to say he isn't the real deal.

Coming out of Dayton Chaminade in high school he was overlooked by his favorite college, Ohio State, due to grade requirements.

Excuse me and the financial crisis

I have been detained by obligations and apologize for my absense but I honestly see less reason for coverage during the season than out of it. During the season you're swamped with information. Out of seaon all you hear about are arrests.

Tonight we are given a nice morsel of football with a Big East Power, once again, versus another Big 12 also ran in Louisville/Kansas State. Kansas State looks to have the horses.

Lou Holtz, Mark May, Reece Davis and Mark May (seems redundant doesn't it) are calling the game. Louisville just missed a potentially game changing pat putting them up by 13 rather than 14. Holtz just went off on a player not getting up and going off the field after getting a little injured. I have to agree with my fellow KSU grad.

Louisville seems to be the place for the Ryder Cup championship, Valhalla Country Club to be exact. I must say, from the pictures, the place is right up there with Augusta in terms of beauty from all that.

It's 10:05 and my 3 year old has decided to eat some food for dinner... Raisin Bran.. as I hear him watching Spongebob and echoing the latter remnants of the ABC song...

Ahh... dow down 449 points... thank you very much Tanqueray....

Too much anticipation

Every website has at least two items referencing OSU vs USC. Sportsline even has a countdown clock. College football has become so much about the national title game that everyone forgets that these are kids and that the pageantry of college football and rivalry and tradition is what it's really all about. As a kid growing up I didn't even think about the national title- not at all. It was the furthest thing from my mind. Maybe it was because Earle Bruce and the boys always managed to lose 3 or 4 games but all the guys who played there were gods nonetheless.

Now, if you don't win the the whole enchalada, you're nothing- until you land in the NFL.

I hate Spencer Tillman... but here we go... I was hoping to see Dennis Dodd do his own preview because his are kind of like watching that hillbilly from Tennessee do his own sports updates.


Watch CBS Videos Online

Monday Night Football: We'll be watching tap soon

Soon we'll be watching tap football and we'll have to clap for our opponents when they score or make a nice play because, well, because it's just an awful darn nice thing to do!

No celebration?

No in your face? What in the wild world of sports, as Slim Pickens said, is the sporting world coming to? We're red meat eating Americans, right? Jake Locker can't throw a ball in the air and Tom Brady is not allowed to be injured and soon Peyton Manning will get done for the season too- but not if the refs have their way. Last night a Bears LB got a fifteen yarder for a love tap on Peyton's head. It didn't matter as karma kicked in and the Bears one for having an awesome D and an O that could occasionally make plays... (did I say Defense Wins Championships? I think I did (see previous post)

Anyways, get ready for a good game after this Minny/vs/Packattack game with an effective O vs an effective D once again. If you can have one or the other, pick the D.

Anyways again-the NFL is going to do it's best to protect marquee QBs this year. There are fewer and fewer left. Tony Romo almost got knocked out against the Browns and Peyton is being held together by safety pins and Farveee is just Farvee and he doesn't get hurt- or he just takes pills so he can play the next game (don't worry prescription drugs will only kill your liver while marijuana will only cure your gloucoma).

Ch-Ch-Changes

Football is still fresh and creating this year's identity. I won't go over college right now because if you're reading this you already know what happened and that's what those links up on the right are for. I need a hug after this weekend's football but what is becoming an apparent theme this weekend as I sit here typing along they flash to Peyton Manning riding the exercise bike on the sidelines and the talk of Tom Brady's wounded knee.

Those guys are my age and while I'm not old, I've been working at my profession for nearly ten years and so have they and while I've learned quite a few tricks I will continue to get more experience but those guys, I don't think they have too much left in the tank. Brett Favre looked good today but he's only for or so years older than those two so it's not like he's 100 years old or something but football takes it's toll. You can make your muscles stronger by lifting weights and get faster through speed training and you get smarter through film and other mental gymnastics but the bones and the tendons and the joints cannot simply be trained to get stronger. They can only withstand so much pulling apart and getting put back together and as a quarterback in football the average fan has no idea just how exposed these players are. The sport is very cruel to that position. They get to stay stationary somewhat while many are just trying to hurt them.


And Another Thing About Quarterback....

The average fan sees all of football as though they are the quarterback somehow and thus all of football is seen through and "offensive eye-piece." For instance if team "A" beats team "B" by 20 but allowed 30 points, it just seems more impressive than team "C" who beats team "D" by one touchdown less but only gave up 1 touchdown as the defense was suffocating. It is often said that defense wins championships. It's like baseball. Pitching wins gams and th big hitting teams always end up losing the big one. So here we are all over again. Offense totally gets people over excited while stifling defense just bores people. The teams with the flashy offenses always get people excited but those offenses can have a bad game or go up against a strong defense and not seem quite as good.

Not looking good for Ol' Ball Coach

Ol' Ball coach is about to go down two years in a row to Vandy. Vandy runs a spread option and pops in and out of traditional formations and just went up by two TDs with 9:28 left over the Gamecocks. Don't let the name fool you. Vanderbilt has been building for a long time and they're finally figuring it out: Smart guys want a good education and good football, too. ND has been doing it for a long time. Other big programs have been doing it lately too. By bringing in smart kids to top programs you enhance your draft status with NFL teams and it feeds itself. The NFL has a strong interest in guys with intelligence and kids who want to go pro have a strong interest in programs that get their kids drafted. ND and USC have been onto this for a while. The Big10 gets a lot of kids drafted as well due to high academic standards. UFlorida and UMiami have good standards as well. There's a trend developing that's running deeper today than ever and a program like Vandy has all the pieces to step out in front of something like this and do something quite unexpected.

More ACC piling on

From Southerncollegesports.com they have more.

CFN reviews...

The Lament of Pittsburgh... Bowling Green rolls in and drops the bomb on a bunch of players who were all "rated" significantly higher than them.

Wake n Bake

Here we are. It's the 30th Day of the 8th Month in the 2008th year since Ano Domino. The Olympics are foolishly over. Baseball is still being played and some people are still paying attention but college football is on us and if you aren't drinking are smoking you should be working or being somehow responsible in some other way like parenting.

My wife just slid a torn out article at me from the Palm Beach Post about how the woman was convicted for microwaving her baby. She should be microwaved to death or just shot.

It's not fair, they have those Jubblies

Racist Odds

Kissing Suzy Kolber's Blog post regarding odds against getting arrested is hilarious.... excerpted:

Steve Smith, Panthers: 5/1
As far as I know, Steve Smith has never been convicted of any sort of crime (and no, punching a teammate in practice is not going to get you arrested any time soon). What I do know (thanks Wiki!) is that he was raised by his mother, a drug counselor who taught him to stay away from that shit. As an adult he’s been a dedicated family man who has partnered with fellow Carolinians Dell Curry and Jay Bilas to form Athletes United for Youth. Oh, and most recently he began interning at Morgan Stanley’s Charlotte branch. HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

Kellen Winslow, Browns: 6/1
Kellen’s record is cleaner than Brady Quinn’s jersey, and if being a douchebag was an arrestable offense in Ohio the whole state would be be on lockdown.

Best QB TANDEMS

Rivals/Yahoo article on best QB tandems is a good read.

The Government wants you to Masturbate

Just thought I'd say that since it's true. Since you might enjoy it, and porn, I thought I might point out that China kind of controls their internet and they pretty much permit nonstop jacking off and our government has probably even more control over the internet if they want anyway... So all I'm trying to point out is that the Government likes you masturbating and smoking weed and being drunk and really not accomplishing anything significant. They must, because it's permitted. It's the only conclusion that's really acceptable.

Ban is Over

Ohio State, and surely others, will begin to replay controversial plays on the big screens. This play cost Ohio State their perfect season last year- or at least shouldn't have led to a TD.

The play to the right was clearly a fumble- that fumbled out of the endzone and was not replayed on the board and the referee who called the game has since been fired by the Big 10. Apparently, the coaches weren't able to hit their buttons for replay during this time either due to other "technical glitches." Well- that's all over now. The home techies are going to begin to work the refs. For more info, visit dottingthei...

Sneaky BC

Boston College gets to visit one their recruiting hotbeds, Cleveland, home to some of the nations finest Catholic schools for a night game against Kent State- and get paid 150,000 to do it. It's being called the Patriot Bowl and is being played at Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Preseason All America

SI Has their picture list up. Always annoying to have to flip through the pictures you don't like. I'd post them all here if I weren't so lazy.

CSTV, now CBS College Sports

I've been wondering why all they do is play replays of SEC Games but now it's making sense. I forgot that CSTV existed, but was taken over by CBS. It was cool when it wasn't really affiliated with any particular conference. But CSTV did raise Trev Alberts from the grave of college football analysis. Sort of.

What I witnessed was nothing more than an ill-conceieved ESPN segment where they each picked conference winners, national championship participants, national champion winner and the Heisman winner. Trev continues his annoyance here now. But. He has toned down his disdain and sword swallowing a bit from his old days as the useless and hateful yin to Mark May's useless and hateful yang.

Anyways, it was better than watching the Chinese Government slave drive their civilians into weird performances where they almost seem happy.

The CBS station is parked clear up in the nosebleed 600 level near the new location for the Big 10 Network. Needless to say most DirecTV people don't even know to check out the channels up there so not too many casual sports fans will ever even get to watch Trev and his buddies. They don't even have Aaron whatshisname- triple forehead the Domer who was also castoff of ABC/ESPN's studio show.

Nobody Picking the Bucks

Rivals has a roundtable discussion over who will be in the title game. We get Olin Buchanan and another writer thinking USC vs Missouri. Pretty much everybody picking USC and then a Georgia nod and Gators giggle... and some pretty lazy analysis. It's worth a quick scan as we get into the final week with kickoff looming probably Wednesday or Tuesday night.

Stew and a little Boogie

Mandel actually writes a very good article about the top five national contenders and their area where they need to improve. It's actually excellent. It's nice to see him display a strength in his writing style. It's brief and capsulated. Very nice.

Teddy Ballgame?

Roundup... There was nothing yesterday

SEC coaching lineup by somebody who's given it some thought, Erik, at Deepsouthsports. He hates northern football but he's funny all the way.

Pryor is going to see some action. Shocker. Schlabach blogs it all up like a mother. Tressel is building a nice QB machine at OSU. Pryor might play 3 years, then 4th year rocket arm Bauserman will pull a Weinke at 25. Watch.

Stew's mailbag is back, finally. He makes a little list. Makes a rules change comment. Discusses Benny Mauk, from my wife's hometown, Kenton, Oh. He talks about Eugene Jarvis of Kent State, my alma mater not possibly winning the Heisman. Overall, one of his lazier endeavors, but there's not much football to talk about at this point.

Sagarin's crazy rankings are at it again. If he knew as much about football as he knows about computer programming he'd be dangerous.

Tuesday Night's Best

Rivals discusses the college game's best LBs... The hype around 9/13 is too big.

Heismanpundit.com says get ready for the SEC to get their "makeup heismans" from the 1990s- not makeup really, but just the result of spread offenses and QBs making more plays all around.

CFN/Scout must be ESPing Rivals in neighboring bathroom stalls as they'be both issued LB reports today, with some similar results and descriptions.

Visit Sporting News if you want today. College football is ruled by the big boys. Even if they're losing, it's a story about the big boys. Always has been. Yet, somehow I was just turned off to go there and see... Missouri, Rutgers... a recruit for Oklahoma who won't even be playing this year? Georgia Southern? What's that? SI and Yahoo! both feature Rich Rodriguez on the front looking nasty. Those kind of stories inspire an emotion and Maisel's recent story on Neuheisel is phenomenal. They need to buck up over there at Sporting News. I know it takes balls to be out on the edge but they have to do more.

12000 show up to watch Freshman QB Pryor and the Bucks for open practice, of which, they have very few.

Gratful Blue's Fun with SEC Names

It is classic. Excerpted: Mississippi StateThis is a special commendation for the Mississippi State Bulldogs. In addition to the names already mentioned above, they have a great looking roster. Sylvester Croom has been very selective in the kinds of names he recruits. Have a look:- Demario Bobo, DB - Great rhythmic sound for announcers. Go ahead - imagine how the stadium announcer would say it.- De'Mon Glanton, DB - Is that pronounced like "demon" or is it more like "de-moan" or "de-mahn?" I need to know.- Co-Eric Riley, WR - He's not the main Eric on the team. He's just a Co-Eric.- Jasper O'Quinn, DB - Is he a leprechaun?- Mike Hunt, DB - "Great coverage my Mike Hunt on that play. Mike Hunt was all over him. Mike Hunt is really looking good today. Uh-oh - it looks like Mike Hunt is hurt."

Sunday Night's Best

Sportshernia has some of the new, fantastic features of Madden such as the secret code to turn the Browns Steelers game into excite bike racing Ben Roethlisberger vs "Lieutenant Winslow". The Pacman Tank feature allows the Cowboys to acquire any and all active criminals... cleek here and read em all.

This website, Pollspeak lets you analyze the pollsters. It's very cool. You can see how individuals are voting as well as how each team is voted on. Many of the voters allow their regional biases to influence them. Many are just plain stupid, but you can tell which ones are stupid right off the bat. And that's fun. Taylor Zarzour should probably have his voting privelages revoked. Wisconsin, 9 (no returning QB), Ohio State, 13th... Penn State 8th?

The Columbus Dispatch and others close to the program have been mentioning that Walt Harris is hanging around. He coached QBs and ran offense under Cooper during Coop's salad days with the Buckeyes when they were rolling up big numbers on offense. There's potential he could be stepping in to replace coach Joe Daniels (coached Marino at Pitt) who's been going through many, many rounds of chemo. Daniels looked bald, but very active during practice on the Big 10 Network's behind the scenes.
Most don't believe Tressel could ever give up control of the O or even accept input.

In current news, w/ 7:22 to go in the 3rd Quarter the Patriots are royally ineffective on Offense w/out Brady with poor protection, poor execution, lots of drops. Their frontline defense couldn't stop the Jenny Garcia-less Bucs either. They looked a step slow as Vrabel, Bruschi, John Lynch et al ust look like Grumpy old Men on the sidelines yukking it up while being down 27-3. You know what? It's good to be a millionaire athlete. I don't care who you are. The Pats can't catch or throw to guys in their color jerseys. A shotgun snap gone awry bounced right up into the arms of a blitzing Bucs safety for a quick six on Matt Cassel's last play.

Neighbor Jim

He has the same remot I do. For the same fucking ceiling fan by Harbor Winds or some fucking shit. I hate it when he turns on the ceiling fan in the middle of the night and cranks up the light.

I let his motherfucking ass have it.

The first time it happened to us, I thought it was the ghost of my wife's brother because I just got back from Vegas and a bachelor party. But voodoo ain't that strong and I know Jim's ass is asking for it. I know it's him that's called the assocation for the lack of paint on my "metal striping" around the rooftiles- mfer!

Usain Bolt should go play for the Bears.

Georgia Football should still be tops...

from ESPN’s Bruce Feldman:
… On the bright side, some SEC coaches I spoke to believe that UGA assistant Stacey Searles is the best O-line coach in the conference and that he will get the new front ready to play. It certainly doesn’t hurt that Georgia was a very big screen team last season, which also reduces the pressure on the line to pass protect.

Roundup

The best description of top 25s ever... I haven't even read the comments yet, but they're sure to be the best.

Trojans got the itch... jock itch...

Deadspin Pokes a Gator

You can go and hear Ronnie Wilson's potential victim's 911 call while "Taz" was brandishing the AK 47....

"Two black males in the front, one with an extra, extra large white t-shirt and gold teeth on the bottom." What's amazing about this 911 call is how calm the caller stays throughout. Even when he thinks a large, angry football player is getting out of the car in front of him with a baseball bat. And even when he realizes it's a semi-automatic weapon as opposed to a baseball bat. That, and how the 911 dispatcher keeps saying,"Okay, I would go ahead and drive," as if people call from the University of Florida's campus while confronted by guys with AK-47's all the time. Hell, maybe they do.

Before & After

Borrowing a little Wheel of Fortune action... SI has picked Purdue's Tony-Curtis Painter as their top Big 10 offensive player. I choose to call him Tony Curtis Painter because white guys named Curtis are usually a little too into masturbation. Don't ask me why, that's just what I think when I hear about a white guy named Curtis. "They caught Curtis jacking off in the restroom at the bowling alley." "JJ's older brother Curtis has all the nudie mags. And vaseline. And his mom don't care."

Everybody's top choice for Heisman is Beanie Wells from Ohio State, so what SI is saying might be if Purdue can beat Ohio State Tony Curtis Painter wins the Theisman? I mean Heisman?

Gators & Dawgs losing some depth

You have to wonder what's up w/ the conditioning at UF if all their players are blowing ACLs.

Georgia won't lose their poll position just yet over losing their QB's backside protection but if he was an all-star. He was a freshman last year and from the sounds of it, they're not sure who to plug in. Depth might be a problem for UGA.

SEC QBs?

Not too many proven ones back this year. We'll see. ESPN reports.

Deion Sanders Disses Mike & Mike

Deion Sanders refused to discuss Brett Favre with the radio program this morning on grounds that it violates something contractual with the NFL network and said to the effect, "Come on guys, you know I can't talk about that stuff with you," basically rubbing their noses in the fact and being very non-Deionish. Greenberg's nose was noticeably bent out of shape about it. Deion went against his own rule and commented on it anyway by saying it was a lateral move and he wasn't a big fan of the move.

His job was to discuss the stupid ass Madden Palooza taking place at the Rose Bowl tomorrow or something. Of course Brett Favre is on the cover of Madden in a Packers Uni this year but who really cares.

AntiUS Biasness

Bella Karolyi says there is some anti US Biasness that is obvious in the gymnastics competition. Or at least that's what it sounded like he said. His english is really bad. The little US Gymnasts are pretty hot anyway but he was matching his socks and his shoes and his pants so I'm pretty sure when he agreed that the anti US "Biasness" was rampant.

In fact I'd like to take my stand here and point back at our foreign friends- just to say that it is so 1995 to hate America for our corporatism, imperialism, blah blah blah blah blah. We're all like that. Remember that 1980s drug abuse commercial? The one where the dad catches the son rolling doobies and he says, "Where'd you learn this? Where!!! Where'd you learn this???!!!!"

And the son so poetically replies... "I learned it from watching you DAD! I learned it from Watching YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Fucking loved it. Still do.

So all these foreign people who hate us for being American should just get over their own conceit because, for fuck sakes, we get it already. We know you hate our President, no matter what bumbling idiot it might be and you hate our foreign policy and our weatherman accents of nothingness... the plainness of our flag... of the shapes of most of our states... I get all that but come on already. No matter how bad or how much we're hated, people can't avoid drinking coke or eating McDonalds and it's old for them already. This is ummm.... a great big diverse world where we have friends in every country... this nationalistic hatred is really juvenile.

Yao is Dead Man Walking

The jump explains how Yao Ming is being used and abused by the Chinese and has been a tool of the NBA. He should be a 10% owner of the NBA if you ask me. Poor guy has been beaten to hell.

(Getty Images)

2008 Season... still approaching...

USC's Mark Sanchez has dislocated his kneecap (owwwww-owww-wwch!) and will possibly miss the season opener. Maybe more. (Picture courtesy of Tshirtbordello.com)

Title Dreams, Schemes.

ESPN Analyzes Oklahoma and oHIio State's extreme prejudices (Shlabach).

Maybe the ridiculosity of not playing a single game for 7 weeks should be emphasized a bit more by nerdy media types who never even snapped a chinstrap in their lives.

The SEC reminds me of the NFC of the 80s and 90s. Not glamorous at all to watch but more effective at the time of the big games.



Something funny written at SPNEWS.

Michigan is more talented than WestVa, except at QB.

One of the reasons CFN picked Florida to be so good, TE Ingram, is out for the season due to knee surgery.

Mandel finally has a new Mailbag. It's about time he got up of his ass. As added bonus he's telling us who's going to possibly surprise to the up and downsides.

Bandwagon Boy's message boards are twisted like no others. It is absolute hilarity. They rope people in all the time who want to argue with them but they don't get that they are just being purposely stupid. Read these posts for instance regarding... uh.. ESPN's titletown USA...


Poster 1:

CHAMPION TOWN OF USA!!! « Thread Started on Jul 29, 2008, 11:24am »

Vadolsta Gerogia = CHAMPION TOWN! I called it! It is way better then other towns when it comes to CHAMPIONS! They have all the high school football CHAMPS! And other stuff! Everone loves the sports down there! And they win all the time! They probaly want me to move there so they will be even MORE champion! I would think about it if they offer me some money! Yo I gots to get PAYED yo! Annyways the point is Vadalotsa is the CHAMP town of AMERCA! Awesomest of the AWESOME! You dont see no foreing towns winning the big CHAMPION award do you! No! Only AMERCA!! USA USA USA USA USA!!

Poster 2:

Thats dumm I never even heard of Vadolsta Georgia it sounds like Rushian town to me whats wrong with Boston??? Ever hear of the Celltecs? And the Patriats? And the Redsocks? Every won of those teams have been world Champians in the last 5 years every one and thats for big time importent sports no high school football cripes even I played football in high school and even YOU prolbaly played football in high school so its not big importent sports like the Worl Seres and the Supper Bowel and like that Vladstok Georgia thats redickless.

Poster 1:

No! Bosston is stuck with CHEATER Patriats and CHOKER Redsocks! Why would you want to give a trophey to that dirty Mannie Rodregez and that CHEATER Bill Bellyshack! They ruin it for Celltecs!

Vadolta Gerogia NEVER stold a Supper Bowel with dirty CHEATING! NEver even once! Name ONE time they even did that! I bet you cant! Can you!!

Case CLOSED!! Game OVA!!

Poster 3:

The best thing I can say about Valdosta GA is that they are a great speedtrap. But even there, they are not champions. The crown goes to Ludowici.

And Vidalia has the onions.

Poster 1:

What the hell are you even talking about! WHY do you people keep trying to tell me that Vadostla stole a Supper Bowel! I am telling you they NEVER did! But you all keep arguing against me! What the HELL!

None of you can answer that can you! What the HELL! I am aksing you right now! Answer me! What the HELL!


Well!

Top Ten Preview from CFN

Surprisingly, Wisconsin gets the 10 spot.

and this is interesting, courtesy of Get the Picture (go there for proper format)

Here’s a breakdown of the 12 SEC coaches heading into the 2008 season. Note: The salaries came from various media reports.
Coach
Media Guide Bio
On The Cover?
Record
Pct.
Bowl Record
2008 Salary
Rich Brooks, Kentucky
3 pages
Yes
116-144-4
.447
3-3
$1.1M
Sylvester Croom, Miss. State
6 pages
Yes
17-30
.362
1-0
$1.7M
Phillip Fulmer, Tennessee
4 pages
Yes
147-45
.766
8-7
$2.6M
Bobby Johnson, Vanderbilt
5 pages
No
20-50
.286
0-0
$1M
Urban Meyer, Florida
11 pages
No
70-16
.814
4-1
$3.4M
Les Miles, LSU
6 pages
No
62-27
.697
4-2
$3.751M
Houston Nutt, Mississippi
6 pages
Yes
80-54
.597
2-5
$1.7M
Bobby Petrino, Arkansas
4 pages
Yes
41-9
.820
2-2
$2.85M
Mark Richt, Georgia
3 pages
No
72-19
.809
5-2
$2.8M
Nick Saban, Alabama
8 pages
No
98-48-1
.670
5-5
$3.75M
Steve Spurrier, S. Carolina
6 pages
Yes
163-56-2
.742
7-7
$1.75M
Tommy Tuberville, Auburn
7 pages
Yes
105-53
.666
6-3
$2.8M

Off to raise my Q-Rating

There are five zillion links on nfl.com with videos of what everybody thinks of the filthy BF going to play for a crapper of a team. My opinion doesn't count but it only seems like he's just going to get more media exposure and maybe he won't be stuck simply doing those latently gay pickup football games in the tall wheat grass for Wrangler anymore. He can be shirtless on the cover of vogue like some old man's Tom Brady.

Where are you're Bucanneers?

On my Fuckin' Head? BF likes the Bucs, but the Jets are offering more money. (Courtesy of Fox and Jay Glazer)

Get ready for NFL officials who have boobies. (Shut Down Corner) Honestly, sex shouldn't make a difference when it comes to officiating or even coaching for that matter. That's it. Big fat dykey coaches that chew tobacco.

Coach Willingham will soon be Coach Won'tbehereham or Willingturkey at division II.

Paris Hilton approves this message.

Dem Fools

Dem Gaytuz have demselves some double standuhds. I wonder if Oklahoma will do the same thing letting a bad seed back on the teaum. This guy was an Ohia State recruit before Ohia pulled his offuh a few yeahs back.

Jimmy Clausen looks like a girl in this one, also via DaWhizof odds.

A southern view of Ohia State in Fanhouse; pretty fair.

Ballcoach be mad (SI), "Y'all go home, my ball."

NFL News today, yesterday and tomorrow

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.
Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Brett Favre; Brett Favre, Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Vikings. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Brett Favre.

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (genetilia) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.

Ding Ding Ding

Everyday, another round of top teams is discussed. This is by SMQ. 5. GA, 4. OSU, 3. UO (okla), 2. USC, 1. UFlor.

The BCS must escape the MAC unscathed.

Las Vegas has it's own team rankings:

(This list comes courtesy of Caesars, by the way.)
USC: 7/2 - 5/2
Ohio State: 4/1 - 7/2
Florida: 5/1 - 5/1
Georgia: 6/1 - 3/1
Missouri: 7/1 - 7/1
Oklahoma: 8/1 - 7/1
LSU: 10/1 - 8/1
Kansas: 12/1 - 20/1
Clemson: 15/1 - 20/1
Texas: 15/1 - 18/1
Virginia Tech: 18/1 - 22/1
Illinois: 25/1 - 30/1
Penn State: 25/1 - 30/1
Michigan: 25/1 - 22/1
Wisconsin: 30/1 - 35/1
Arizona State: 30/1 - 40/1
Boise State: 40/1 - 75/1
Cal: 50/1 - 75/1
Oregon: 75/1 - 60/1
Alabama: 75/1 - 25/1
Texas A&M: 200/1 - 85/1
BYU: 250/1 - 125/1
Notre Dame: 300/1 - 45/1
Field: 18/1 - 18/1

He's Back...

John Madden is a lightning rod for some. For me he's just a dude living for the belly laugh. He's been having fun finding his groove with Al Michaels tonight.

Colt Brennan and Mike Hart have been impressive in their NFL debuts. Hart's helmet popped off on a nice run over left tackle and he said that Hart looks like Tony Dorsett, "facially". Then he promptly took the comparison and began digging a hole by saying: "They're brothers". Michaels tried digging him out but it only made it worse when he said, "Well, he could be his dad." I mean just stop it guys. Don't say this guy looks like that guy and don't start making outrageous comparisons in a guy's first NFL Preseason game.

They got back on track later with humor on Colt Brennan who made great throws. Madden remarked that he made not one but two perfect throws, and laughing on the touchdown said, "Boy, he's a flinger... look at him move around... he's a wild flinger!"

And the drumbeat for shorter quarterback continues as Brennan proves a little footwark can open up lanes. Brennan just earned himself a minimum of 3 more years in the league.

Not Really Part Deux

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Erin Andrews dressed up like a hooker at a baseball game; doing interviews in the clubhouse dressed up like a date I wouldn't want to be seen with. I know that guys drool all over her and she's on tv and somewhat statuesque but the hair is bad, the dress is bad and the shoes and legs just don't look that good at all. I'm not impressed. The baseball players all do a lot better for themselves than her. That's all I gotta say.

Not Really

Get the Picture punctures Tim Tebow's clutch-ness by noting that he's never had to come from behind. While his girlfriend may argue with that notion, it's pretty notable.

Sunday Morning Quarterback speculates that USC is on a similar descent that many of the great programs take after rising to the top of the sport. The analysis is detailed and extremely interesting.

Big Friggin' Deal

Ohio Legislators buy tickets with campaign funds. Like that's a crime. They're criminals anyway. All they do is bullshit people and try to keep their jobs. Just like the rest of us. Selling them on EBay for a profit? Well, let's just let our friends from "The Falls" explain that one! Zing. No worries. Every city has a guy worse than the next town over. Why get into politics if you don't think you can get free shit anyway? Isn't that what it's all about or am I missing something here?

Lameness is Georgia getting voted preseason number one by the coaches and not getting voted to win their own division or conference. "McFly?"

I know it's not his fault but Tebow should rename himself to TeBLOW due to all the gizz reporters around the country are swallowing at his expense. Just thought I'd say that. Urban even said he was a "once in a generation type". The truth is we won't know it until it's already over and done with.

My son isn't wearing his pants again I have to go... he's 33 years old-- I mean 3.

Some Player Biographies

ESPN has a very nice piece on Mark Sanchez's entire family history. Not much football to it but a little knob polishing by ESPN in July/August might give them good access to the QB should he become the franchise at USC and beyond. It's excerpted from ESPN THE MAG.

Sporting News does an excellent article on Justin Boren. Boren won't even play this year for Ohio State because he transferred from a I-A or FBS conference team to another but the dude does not back down at all from his assertions with regard to Rodriguez's in your face/up your ass coaching style which he did not appreciate or really have the opportunity to choose coming out of High School. His dad, a former Michigan player- and by some accounts a bit controlling, readily supports both of his sons' decisions to play for OSU.

CFN's Fiutak covers the Big 10 this morning and brings up a lot of interesting points. Iowa should do well and Illinois not so much while Wisconsin could be in the hunt for a National Title birth this season should they dethrone Ohio State, however, their out of conference schedule is sorely lacking opponents with a pulse outside of Fresno State.

4 out of 5 top pro prospects are Buckeyes with Maurice Evans the DE from Penn St being the bologna in the Buckeye sandwich.

Buying or Selling?

Horses? Well. You came to the wrong place, didn't you....

Sweet Kentuck Bluegrass! Looks like the SEC has an Ohio guy Quarterbacking one of the least marquee teams next year. Mike Hartline, who's Kentucky team did upset in overtime LSU- the National Title Winning Team- it must give Kentucky football a sense of resonant well-being to know they beat the national title winning team- but I digress.... Mike Hartline, who's brother, Brian Hartline is starting as a wide receiver for the Buckeyes, will be the starting quarterback for the Blue Team from the Commonwealth of Kentucky. It's mainly due to the favored starter being busted for, oh, I don't know- at least Marijuana (Frotuss) and DUI or something. The national heads haven't drawn the connection to Ohio State via Glenoak HS in N. Canton yet. Kosta Koufus/Hartline ESPN warm fuzzy moments to come.

Beano At it Again...

THE COLLEGEFOOTBALLTALK RUMOR MILL
by Michael David Smith
POSTED 7:08 a.m. EST, July 31, 2008
"IF GEORGIA GOES 13-0 THEY SHOULD BE IN THE SUPER BOWL"
As he is wont to do, ESPN's resident college football historian Beano Cook engaged in a bit of hyperbole on his weekly college football podcast this week. Said Cook of Georgia fans saying they expected their team to go undefeated, "If Georgia goes 13-0, they should be in the Super Bowl."

Go here for rest of story, courtesy collegefootballtalk.com

Grandpa Joe? Is it so?

Joepa- the grandpa of college football is retiring after this year. At least that's what the tea leaves are telling the nations' talking heads. Sporting News compiles a short list with some brief talking points detailing some of the contenders. Some I like and some I don't.

Grobe won't leave Wake. Bielema won't leave Wisconsin. But Schiano is likely to leap or Tim Murphy from Harvard. Why do I like Murphy? Why not? He's been at Harvard since 1994 and even recruited me to play for him there- so there's my bias. It's on the table. Admittedly, I haven't watched too much Harvard or paid them much mind over the past 14 years since he's been there but he's sent a good number of guys to the NFL from there believe it or not and his product has been very competitive. Obviously, he's selling recruits a quality product there, despite the fact that the recruits have to pay for school themselves (same goes for Patriot League)- unless they're a hardship or can get academic funds.

Nevermind that Rubbish

Rivals top 25 CFB countdown is a bit absurd with Auburn having a new QB and two new coordinators- going to the spread from not-the-spread??? They're talented but that talent lost to South Florida last year- sorry. Not a single MAC team in the top 50? What, no love for Central Michigan?

WEST DIVISION (6-5-4-3-2-1 point system)

1. Central Michigan 207

2. Ball State 168

3. Western Michigan 143

4. Toledo 98

5. Eastern Michigan 80

6. Northern Illinois 60

EAST DIVISION (7-6-5-4-3-2-1)

1. Bowling Green 206

2. Miami 202

3. Buffalo 145

4. Kent State 137

5. Temple 120

6. Ohio 119

7. Akron 78

(Sorry Zippers)

Brett Favre (pron: Farv) is officially making me puke because sportsnews doesn't know how to report on anything else for the past month or two.... I guess last year it was MichaleVickMichaelVickMichaelVick blah blah blah.

We should get more Jessica Simpson coverage.. and Tony Romo.

Who Fucked the Rooster?

If you want to freak out about the economy, naked capitalism is trying very hard to get you to sell at the lows....

Japan gains on Exporters, my ass, the US Markets went up 2plus % today which is becoming more usual than not. The housing bottom is in. You can't go back to year 2000 prices. You could buy mansions on Palm Beach for less than a million then.

University of Miami has decided to recruit kids who can't qualify this year. (7)


Let me tell you how it will be... there's one for you... nineteen for me...be thankful I don't take it all... Because I'm the tax man........ (Vote O...) If you take a walk I'll tax your feet...Don't ask me what I want it for... if you don't want to pay some more. And my advice for those who die, those clever pennies on your eyes... and you're working for no one but me.

Good Idea= Let's tax assets rather than income... that's how you tax the rich and not the working man.

Sing... Sing, Sing, Sing

For the love you bring, won't mean a thing, unless you sing....

Sing, Sing, Sing---------- Oh, the immortal words of Travis.... Not quite as immortal as The Gourds and their "Turd in My Pocket" but neverthemore... we have a life here that's worth living. If we could just wake up to the facts.

First. Small towns are the best.
Nobody should underestimate themselves if they came from one. Nothing quite like being a big fish in a little pond.

Second. There's nothing wrong with having a hot sister. It's always nice to have her friends over.

Third. Football season is almost here. Baseball is disgusting. I had to listen to Mike Golic of all people pound out stats about a player that got traded last year, late, and made a fucking difference. Golic? There's a reason his name sounds just like the word "Garlic". It's Ukranian for Garlic/Butter/Pumpkin Seeds. It's okay. His family has been in the US less than 125 years. It just goes to show you that anybody can make it.

Clone Wars

I'm highly skeptical of this bullcrap that isn't Jedi-ish. But you can watch about ten minutes of trailers here and see what you think for yourself.

Never TOO Early

Profootball Weekly has had a page discussing next year's draft. It's not bad. Not very ambitious. I should say, not overly ambitious, but interesting to read.

Everybody's out jinxing Ohio State this year. Dodd's 5 things to know about the Big 10. Let the horse flogging continue.

Georgia is the national media's darling but the SEC Coaches and Media picked the Gators. SI makes up for it with some rationale.

Time Magazine is going to feature LeBron Raymone James as it's coverboy as the most important athlete to watch in the Olympics. Maybe most well-known, but I disagree. I like the Olympics because I get to watch all these athletes in other sports pour their guts into competitions that never get on TV, like Table-Tennis, Javelin, Triple-Jump. Lebron? We see him on TV 2/3rds of the year and twice on Sundays.

Herbstreit Challenge is cool inter-sectional football event for High Schoolers.

University of Miami is going to be deep as usual this year but will they be any good?

Hilarity to ensue

The Whiz has a funny picture and good commentary to correspond to the PRINCETON REVIEW of Party/Non Party Schools... "you won't recognize the non-party schools unless you study SEC out of conference schedules..."

Courtesy of Courtesy

The Whiz has several links and a youtube video of Charlie Weiss getting booed at Wrigley as he sings take me out to the ballgame. Wonder why they're boing?


Meet the Buckeyes. CFN's preview... wonder if they'll tell the tale of how OSU wins all the tough games this year but mysteriously tanks one they should win to keep them out of th title game for the third straight year.

Linkage

Penn State's off-field troubles will be featured tomorrow on ESPN's outside the lines. Lately, the Penn State team has been referred to as "State Penn", but even more recently Iowa's fracas over rape allegations has been getting more coverage than any place's problems.

Good Day

This is a pretty cool new concept for offense- everybody's a playmaker here. It's like that Frisbee Game Ultimate. The coaches must have spent a lot of time burning down.

Dropping the morning Blog

SouthernCollegeSports.com has a list of this year's college football newcomers with some impressive research thrown in. Very nice.

Sporting News takes their morning dump on the Big 10.

Tebow Won't do Playboy

Apparently, Timmy is too religious to be a preseason Playboy All-American. UF wouldn't even nominate him.

In the immortal words of Wayne and Garth... "Shyea, Right..." Tebow's GF is a quintuple SCHWING!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Big 10 Media Day Blog

Coach Tiller: The new coach isn't a new coach. He's an old coach coming back.

Coach Paterno should get another 40 year extension.

Coach Tressel: Carson Palmer is just excited because his alma mater is playing against the team that he has to annoyingly hear about locally 24/7 and he's pretty proud of his team on the west coast.

Prior will become incorporated into the offense on day 1.

Getting the old guys excited about this year is going to be a challenge.

"Preseason" aka YSU, Ohio U, means taking guys to the next level.

The challenge of going to USC vs a team that has only lost 1 game at home in 6 seasons: It helps recruiting. Coach Carrol is a great coach and great recruiter and everybody knows it and we look forward to it.

RE: Being overwhelming favorite in the Big 10: It's frightening because the preseason Big 10 poll is never right. Guys have seen that the poll hasn't been accurate in the past.

Boeckman will be a better leader this year because he has a track record.

RE: Penn St w/out Joe P....: Helped intercollegiate athletics: If I were a betting man, he'd be there in 2009.

Who's the darkhorse this year?
Can't do it. The Big 10 in 2008, will be better than in 2007, and we're the finest group of coaches... if you ask us.

Is it fair that the Big 10 is being painted by OSU's failures and the Rose Bowl catastrophes?
From us: We haven't been successful in the NCs. Makes me feel bad because we're painting the conference. We'll find out this year.

If it happened again, would you be pissed?
I'd be proud to win the Big 10, but if we didn't play as well as we could, I'd be disappointed then.

From The Chicago Tribune

In less the an hour Illinois sold out their game vs Ohio State.

Notre Dame is rushing out letters to the NCAA to say "sorry" we messed up in using images of specific players for cell phone ads.

Good Day!

Fiutak allows you to.......... Meet the Spartans........ (And not the movie, which I purchased ever so stupidly on Pay Per View this past weekend. It has it's moments of funny, but many more of extreme looking away for allowing how ridiculously off the wall dumb it is. Naked Gun looks like Shakespeare by comparison. But. I love Carmen Electra no matter how big a dumb slut she might be.)

Michigan State opens up on the road at Cal... that should be a good game to watch.

I don't get men over 10 years old who still go by "Bobby". Maybe it's just me... Bobby Petrino, Bobby Bowden... Or "Tommy" for that matter; Tommy Tuberville, Tommy Bowden. Maybe it's just one of those southern things left over from the Confederacy that I just won't ever get. I'll call my buddy Tommy- but that's when we're drinking. Not when we're coachin' us some football, boy! At that point, I would be Coach Tom, or Captain Bob! (Excuse me, I'm getting off of my high horse, he's smoked entirely too much herbage (sic Frotuss).


ESPN's Big Ten Mailbag proves that Adam Rittenberg does read Phil Steele's magazine as he too proclaims the infinite superiority of Penn State's DLine.


I just think Tulane should be called Turlane, because it makes you sound drunk when you say it. "Who's gonna win?"

"Sure as hell not Turlane."

"Why not? Turlane, ain't bad. I'll have another drink please."

Michigan love

Fiu loves on some Michigan.

Marlon Brando and Odds & Ends

Boy, Marlon Brando sure did stink it up in Columbus: The Discovery. Everybody was just acting too hard- even Benecio Del Turro- who's skinny in the 1992 5th Century Anniversary flick. Lame.

Lame. Lame. And there's nothing else on so I'm stuck.



Not a big deal, but Carson Palmer is providing bulletin board material to Ohio State for the 13 Sept showdown. (no link necessary)

Kirk Ferentz has got to be smelling his ass on fire lately. (No link necessary).

The Big Lead had this great picture of Kim Kardashian grinding Reggie Bush... I guess he's still giving the old Bush Push???

I have no idea what the article is about, but being Reggie, despite not lighting up the pros, is still a good thing.

Update

Oddsmakers aren't sure what to make of UCLA (LA TIMES).

Dayton Daily News says Browns won't make playoffs due to schedule. I'd argue that they'll be better then those NFC East teams and probably drop the games to the easy teams just like last year- but make the wild card.

Breakdown of Ohio State Defense

PD's Doug Lesmerises talks about OSU football